Looking back.. II

I stayed home, instead of going to the countdown at Meiji-jingu.. Between the comfort of my warm room and the hassle of the queuing in the cold winter night, I succumbed to comfort.. :)

So here I am, in my room watching season 1 of House MD during most of the day time.. stopped at episode 14 about 2 hours ago to write my diary.. lots to write.. ;) with a drink of Ume (Plum) liquor on the rock beside me, I am reviewing my last year's New Year resolution..

Last year I listed 7 things that I wanna do in 2008, and I don't think I did a good job keeping them.. (See here) Stayed healthy during 2008 (compared to 2007) and lost about 3 kgs.. Didn't really make much progress in my Japanese.. only visited Kyoto, Osaka, Nara, Nikko and Mt Takao.. Didn't go to HK, Macau, Taiwan or any other country.. Didn't keep/update/refresh my professional and technical knowledge at all.. in fact, I suspect that I might be even losing my ability to think rationally with all these Masters classes that I am taking.. Been quite open and stay truthful to my believes, feelings and myself, I think.. And I did grow, spiritually and mentally.. with lots of movies, tv shows and facebooking.. :x

So this year, I shall try to be more specific with my New Year's resolutions, so here they are the same 7, in no specific order:

• Stay healthy and lose more weight => getting sick less than once every month and getting my weight down 5 more kilos
• Master Japanese => Clear JLPT 1 and able to carry a simple decent conversation
• Explore Japan more => Visit Kyushu, Shikoku and Hokkaido, and visit a place within Tokyo twice a month during my last semester
• Travel to neighboring countries => Hong Kong and Macau at least, any other cities would be a bonus
• Continue growing - spiritually and mentally => Read at least 40 books within the year
• Keep/Update/Refresh my professional and technical knowledge
• Be open and stay truthful to my believes, feelings and myself..

Again, shall not put "making new/more friends" as my resolution, cos I know I will not be able to keep them.. Just not in my system to be making friends with everyone I met.. I chose my friends carefully, just as they will choose me.. so it gotta be mutual, no? Also I don't want to waste my time faking friendliness with people I can't stand or just plain dislike.. Life is too short for such niceties..

2009 shall be a year full of changes for me, I do foresee that.. I shall be graduating in Aug 2009.. and there after, I shall start working.. yet, I have no idea where and as what.. in Japan? maybe.. in Singapore? maybe.. any city in the world is a possibility.. although with my change-adverseness, going back to Singapore seems like a more attractive option.. yet, who knows?!

Regardless of what the new year might bring us, Happy New Year everyone!! Have a blessed and fruitful 2009!!

Poems... XVII

Sometimes
© By Jose N. Arce

Sometimes I wonder why I'm in this world
Sometimes I wonder if I was gone would anyone care
Sometimes I say to myself
I'm here for a reason
But sometimes I think to myself
What is that reason for

Sometimes it's hard for me to live my life
Sometimes I just break down and cry
Sometimes I think why this had to happen to me
Out of all the people in this world
It had to be me

Sometimes I imagine how my life would be
If I was just normal
But that's hard to imagine
Because it's never going to happen
Sometimes I ask God
Why is my life so hard to live
But sometimes I know he's looking down at me
Saying you were met to be like this

Sometimes people say my life ain't that hard to live
Sometimes I want those people to be in my shoes
To see how my life actually is
Sometimes my life could be easy
Sometimes my life could be hard
Sometimes I don't even care about my life
Sometimes I just wish I would die

Sometimes I don't have anyone to go to
Because sometimes I know some people don't care
Sometimes I need someone who understands
Sometimes I don't need someone who don't give a damn

Sometimes people say keep your head up and you'll get through it
Sometimes people don't understand
It's hard for me to keep my head up and get through it
Sometimes I know God is watching me
And God knows where I'm heading

Count down?

I am of two minds..

Should I go to countdown with a group of Malaysians tomorrow night at Meiji-jingu or should I just stay in my room??

Never a people person, tomorrow's countdown program will definitely test my limit of "enduring" crowds.. Heard that for last year's New Year countdown, there are more than 3 million people within the vicinity of Harajuku and Meiji-jingu.. :o :o and a friend of mine queued more than 3 hours last New Year just to get into the shrine to pray and throw a coin for good luck... :o :o :o

1st of January is a big thing for Japanese and many would go out for the countdown celebration all over Tokyo/Japan.. It has been forecast that it will be very windy tomorrow night (wind at about 6-9m/s)... imagine the wind howling, the noise of thousands of people talking, the awkward silence among people who don't quite know each other, the long hours of queuing (aka standing), and not to mention the coldness... if it wasn't the fact that this might be my last New Year in Japan, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of freezing my ass off just so that I could "celebrate" the coming of a New Year with a bunch of strangers (or acquaintances)..

So I am undecided... should I?

Top TEN... III

Stuff that I wanna do but didn't quite have the time to do... Hopefully the next 8 months of the new year will provide me with enough time to do the things listed below..

Top TEN TV series that I wanna watch/catch up-to-date in 2009

• House M.D. (all 5 seasons)
• Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (3 episodes so far)
• 30 Rock (all 3 seasons)
• CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (season 7,8,9)
• 24 (season 6)
• Dexter (all 3 seasons)
• Supernatural (all 4 seasons)
• Brothers & Sisters (all 3 seasons)
• Grey's Anatomy (all 5 seasons)
• True Blood (season 1)

Top TEN fiction books that I hope to read in 2009

• For One More Day (Mitch Albom)
• The Tales of Beedle the Bard, Standard Edition (J.K.Rowling)
• 7th Heaven (James Patterson)
• The Likeness: A Novel (Tana French)
• Tipping the Velvet: A Novel (Sarah Waters)
• Scarpetta (Kay Scarpetta) (Patricia Cornwell)
• World Without End (Ken Follett)
• Nineteen Minutes: A Novel (Jodi Picoult)
• Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel (Lisa See)
• Lipstick Jungle (Candace Bushnell)

Top TEN non-fiction books that I hope to read in 2009

• Outliers: The Story of Success (Malcolm Gladwell)
• The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World (Niall Ferguson)
• The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable (Nassim Nicholas Taleb)
• Hot, Flat, and Crowded: Why We Need a Green Revolution--and How It Can Renew America (Thomas L. Friedman)
• The Assault on Reason (Al Gore)
• The Post-American World (Fareed Zakaria)
• The Way of the World: A Story of Truth and Hope in an Age of Extremism (Ron Suskind)
• The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism (Andrew Bacevich)
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity (David Allen)
• The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Timothy Ferriss)

Actually, there are more than the above 20 books that I wanna read.. but the sad fact is that the libraries in Japan are very English-unfriendly.. and I seriously doubt I could find any of these books in my university's library... That is one main reason why I really missed the libraries in Singapore... :(

沒有人知道

作詞：李宗盛　作曲：李宗盛

沒有人知道　沒有人知道　我的心　我的心
沒有人知道　沒有人知道　我的心　我的心
我是不是要註定孤獨
去面對以後漫長的路
陪伴痛苦　寂寞無助
我多麼希望回到最初　走我自己該走的路
迎向未來、不怕輸
在愛情中痛苦　在名利中追逐
怎樣才能面對存在內心的衝突
是不是讓步（不需要讓步）
是不是讓步（不需要讓步）
沒有人知道　沒有人知道　我的心　我的心
沒有人知道　我以為你知道我的心　我的心