Dexter..

Here, I am referring to the US drama season of the same name..

Because of the reduction of "availability" of "high-speed" connection speed, my "source" is severely limited.. so I had to select only a few that I really want to follow.. Fringe, House MD and Dexter.. I stopped following Heroes, Lost, True Blood, 24 and CSI (all three of them).. I wanted but didn't start Brothers and Sisters, Criminal Minds, Bones and many more..

Fringe was a "new" drama that I started recently as I was captivated by its focus on fringe science.. No doubt, that I am an X-philes.. :) And how could I not follow the "adventure" of two very flawed guys in their respective lives.. Maybe cos I can empathize and even relate to what they are going through or why they do what they do.. as I might not be as messed up as they are, but neither am I perfect..

Anyway, I finished watching Season 4 of Dexter while in Singapore.. and I must commend the writers of the drama.. It managed to keep me on the edge with its unpredictable twists and turns.. The season finale really caught me off-guard.. and it made me really feel for the protagonist, Dexter..

I always believe that everyone has a demon inside of them.. the "voice" that tries to tempt us to do things we know we shouldn't.. the religious would call it "Satan" or "Devil".. Dexter calls it his "dark urge".. and his called to him to kill, to see something die, to see blood.. so in order to satisfy his urge while following his father's code so that he doesn't get caught, he has developed a set of rituals that he keep to religiously even though he has more than once been forced to improvise..

He tries to live his life as normally as possible.. he didn't want to get too close to anyone less they find out his dark secrets, yet he can't stay "isolated" less people gets suspicious.. so he ended up "surrounding" himself with people.. first by pretending to get a girlfriend (season one), by admitting he has a drug addiction to explain some of his odd behaviors (season two), by trying to find a partner in crime that backfired on him (season three) and finally by marrying his girlfriend (season four)..

He is incapable of really feel nor care about anyone except for his step-sister whom he is very protective of. And when he finally realized that he can't live without his wife, she was brutally killed at the season finale of Season 4.. leaving him with his young son that he had with her and her two children from an earlier marriage.. It was utterly heart-breaking to see him confronting that kind of emotional tsunami that he is so unused to..

Would I say that Dexter is a bad person? well, outwardly he is one of the cops, a loving husband and a father of three, although he kills bad guys who managed to slip through the law as a past-time.. He kills these bad guys not because he is righteous or want to make this world a better/safer place.. He kills them as a side note.. Since he can't stop himself from killing, might as well kill those who deserves to die than randomly choosing his victims..

I just love to see these kinds of REAL human drama.. Dexter is someone who is terribly flawed, actually more close to twisted.. yet the emotions he felt is real and raw.. something I can related to.. in fact, I can understand why he did what he did.. actually I kinda admire him for what he is doing to maintain the "normalcy" of his life.. all the juggling of different social roles/expectations and all the lies that he had to tell to ensure he can still be who he really is..

It is not easy being a hero, neither is it a walk in the park for a villain..