Showing posts with label Mundane Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mundane Life. Show all posts

Dec 25, 2016

Birthmas 2016

Writing this on Christmas Day... the third day of my annual 'do-anything-I-like' holidays.. for those uninformed, I usually have a (self-imposed) 4-day holidays in Dec, namely winter solstice, my BD, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.. since this year's winter solstice happened a day earlier than usual, it's just a 3-day celebration for me this time round.

Had a (somewhat) fun BD this year.. I kinda broke my 'tradition' of staying in during my big day.. instead, I went out for a walk around the neighborhood and along the Tamsui River in the morning.. Bought a few lottery scratch-cards and won some money for a change, which is definitely a good sign, since I usually have zero luck in any gambling activities..

Anyway, couldn't really remember when was the last time I felt as good on my BD.. maybe it was a spillover celebratory effect from my sis's wedding... maybe it's my new colored hair making me feel young.. maybe it's the video chat, over FB, I had with my dearest friend in Australia whom I've not seen for years (although we do keep in contact via social media).. I've not heard anyone singing 'Happy BD' to me for such a long time that when the three of them (including her boys) sang I almost cried.. it felt good to be remembered... all in all, we chatted for more than 3 hours.. :) Can't believe how big the boys are right now...



Somehow I feel good about the coming year(s), even though I have tons to do, most importantly write that paper (and have it published) and graduate.. I've procrastinate long enough.. time to get things done and move on to the next phrase of my life, whatever and wherever it may lead me..

Here's a toast to my 42th year on this Earth!


Mar 25, 2016

dumbest reason to do a PhD

Would you enrolled in a PhD program just out of spite?

Background: X is a Masters student under the guidance of Prof Y. Prof Y stopped X from getting his Masters by giving X a failed grade for his Masters thesis while all other members in the thesis panel gave him high marks. In the end, X had to find a new advisor last minute, but managed to graduate. X is a well-established professional in his own field and is rich. The Masters degree was just another feather in his cap.

Now: X has enrolled in the PhD program within the same department as an attempt to 'spite' Prof Y and has chosen another prof, Prof Z, as his PhD advisor. Also, X 'purposely' took Prof Y's classes so that he can rub 'it' in Prof Y's face.

When I first heard about this, my first reaction is "what a stupid thing to do!" and "what's the point?" In my opinion, to do something just to spite someone is the dumbest and most childish thing to do. If he likes to do research or he wants to get a foothold in the academia, then by all means, go get a PhD. But to do a PhD just so he can 'rub it' in his ex-advisor's face is probably the most moronic act of self-sabotage.

What can X hope to gain from such shortsighted action? Prof Y is an experienced researcher and noted scholar in his field. Although he is quite controversial and sort of a loner, he is still a senior faculty member of the dept. Will Prof Y even care that X is back as a PhD student? Or care that X went to Prof Z instead of him for guidance? If X does well in his PhD, Prof Y can still claim credit to X's success since he did guide X for almost 2 years. If X doesn't do well, Prof Y can declare that he had foreseen what a failure X is and that's why he failed X's Masters thesis. It's a NO-WIN situation for X.

Everyone who knew about this backstory was egging X on and is sharing this story around like some juicy gossip. Frankly I just don't get it. Maybe some people just need some excitement in their lives. Me? I think I'll skip.

Mar 21, 2016

saw

Finally went to see a movie last week..  And I think I will go and watch it again this week.. this is just the second movie that I (will) watch twice in the cinema.. heck, I might even watch it more than twice if I have the time next week..  yes, that's how much I like it.. It premiered in the US last year, took it long enough to reach TW.. but at least it is being shown here.. it wasn't allowed in many countries cos of the story. Read the book a couple of years ago when I asked my library to get it. Just checked and found that the book is now reserved by 3 person, while the Chinese translated version is reserved by more than 7.. Think I will get a (paper) copy for myself one of these days..

...flung out of space...

Mar 14, 2016

librocubicularist

finally found the word that describes who I am... especially at night or on a rainy day..


Feb 16, 2016

one long year

Can't believe I've not update this blog for almost a year... time flies... kinda cliche but it's true nonetheless..

Didn't visit any (new) country last year.. stayed in my room most of the time.. didn't even go to the university/library/department as often as I liked..

2015 was an uneventful year.. nothing much happened, personally and professionally.. still struggling to write and produce research papers... after that trip to the Netherlands and Belgium, my productivity dropped drastically to almost non-existent..  

2015 was a fairly busy year, but with other people's research.. was assisting 2 professors in their paper translations and is the journal assistant for my department.. been reading a lot, but unable to put my thoughts onto paper...

Hopefully I will be more productive in 2016.. promised my adviser that I'll have a paper for him by end of April, so that's a dateline I intend to keep.. I foresee lots of things happening this year.. so let's hope I'm ready to handle them..

Feb 28, 2015

Rant.. like never before..

I hate that my first proper post for 2015 is gonna be so negative, but alas, since I promised to stop posting on FB to someone very dear to me, less it be misunderstood by people who are so freaking sensitive and childish, I need to turn somewhere to express my frustrations on this matter. So hear me out.


Many times people just don’t get it. And unfortunately the society condones and exacerbate this too . Your profession or occupation doesn’t make you special or important; it only tells people that you are (book) smart. It is a person’s character and behaviors that define a person. So what if you are a doctor? A manager? Or a pharmacist? It only tells people that you can study or had the opportunity to study. Why do people think that they are great just because they work in a big company or is a professional like accountants or lawyers? It is just a job that you happen to be qualified for. It says absolutely NOTHING about you as a person. GOD/Allah/Buddha doesn’t care if you are a manager in a big company or a dentist. CEOs, lawyers and accountants, like everyone else, get sick and/or get into accidents too. And in my books, those who think they are great just because of their occupation/post don’t even qualify as ‘decent’. I pity them for the rude shock they suffer when they realized that the world doesn’t give a shit about the position stated on their name cards.

For someone who has yet to start work but already think that she is so bloody great just because she graduated from a ‘supposedly’ prestigious university (which in real fact not even listed in any top 100 Universities’ lists) and a ‘respectable’ course (aka pharmacy), she has much more to learn. She has yet to work a day as a pharmacist-in-training, much less earn her pharmacist license, but already she thinks she is above everyone and deserved to be treated as VIP. Pharmacists are a dime a dozen in this country, just like doctors. Maybe at home she is pampered as she is the youngest and only daughter. Maybe all her family and relatives give in to her every time. Maybe she is treated as a princess at home. But hello ‘Princess’, life is a bitch and just wait for this dog-eat-dog world to get a taste of you. Overly-sensitive, overly-protected and unbelievably childish -- a lethal combination for a major rude awakening in the future! I for one am looking forward to the day her sheltered life is shattered and she realized the painful truth that only her family thinks she is ‘special’ in any way. Because frankly, no one else gives a damn. She could be the Queen of England or earn billions for all I care, but if she thinks that she is greater than the rest of us, then she is no friend, much less a relative of mine.

It is just laughable how small and pathetic their world is. Just because her prick of a brother graduated from a SG university (hey, me too), is working in a MNC (hey, I did too), earns SG dollars (hey, I earn Euro!) and seems to know lots (hey, can he beat a PhD? Or someone who had lived in 4 countries and travel/see so much more?), whatever he says is gospel to her. That fella only comes home a few times a year, doesn’t give any money to their parents, doesn’t take care of the elders in the family, doesn’t help in any way except to stir up chaos, disputes and bitterness wherever he goes. He might be working for some big company in SG (which seems to carry a lot of weight in this little town), in my eyes he is nothing but a troublemaking egoistic jerk. As for her, I have never seen such a naïve and immature person in my life! But again, I don’t mix much cos I wanted to avoid such dumb bitches in the first place. Can’t wait till she sees what this ruthless brutal world is going to do to her. It is gonna swallow her whole and spit her out without a second glance. Just hope that she has the inner strength, which I highly doubt she possesses, to put herself back together again. The same goes with that ass of a brother of hers.

And I will say one last thing: Her brother’s arrogance and her naivety shall be their downfall one day. It is just the eventuality of it happening, as I do not doubt its possibility. When it does, I will be there laughing and cheering when they are pulled off their high horses and fall flat on their faces. I shall relish the day and will most definitely rub it in when that happens. I really hope that we do NOT become relatives. I absolutely do not want to be associated with such people much less be relatives with them.

I regretted treating her as my little sis and henceforth she is nothing to me. Had not felt so much rage and anger for a very long time. It is bad for my health. Thus, this shall be the last ranting I am gonna make cos these are taking up way too much of my precious time. Like I always say, “Life is too short, ignore all morons”.


End note:
What I’ve written might seem harsh and overly critical, but I stand by every single word. Will I regret what I’ve just written? Maybe, in the far far far future, but the emotions and feelings I felt right now have to be vented. Will things turn out okay in the end? I don’t know but I learned one thing all these year, ‘never say never’. Will things be back to what it used to be? DEFINTELY NO. That I can say for sure. I will keep my distance from this family from now onwards. As I have nothing but contempt, loathing and pity for this family, I do not foresee being chummy with anyone of them, now or in the future.


Feb 2, 2015

back for CNY

Yep, I'm back in Msia for CNY. :)

Unlike previous years, I won't be helping my parents with CNY preparations or cookie-making. I'm with my sister helping her out at her clinic. We do plan to make some simple cookies but 'plan' is the keyword here. Not too sure how much cookies we'll be able to make after an entire day's work. Anyway, we are going to try.

Was planning to visit my godson in Singapore end of this month, but couldn't get any bus tix so I had to cancel my plans.. Was looking forward to meet up with some friends and ex-colleagues too.. oh well.. looks like I will need to wait a year or two before being able spending some time with my godson.. :( Haven't hugged him since 2009, although I've seen him many times through video chats..

Anyway, I will be in Malaysia till end of the month before flying back to Taiwan on Mar 01. Time flies when you are having fun... :) :)

Sep 29, 2014

going home in sep

Will be going home tomorrow.. it's not a routine nor my annual balik kampung. It's to help my sis in her new venture.. Will be in Msia for 2 months and back in TW in Dec as I still have classes to attend..

Looking forward to this unexpected trip home.. :)

Sep 8, 2014

school in a weeks' time

School is gonna start next week. Time flies when you're having fun and I sure had lots of fun this summer holidays. Think I am still coming down from the high of my Europe 2014 trip the whole of August. :P

These past 8 weeks since I came back from my trip, I didn't totally neglect my research. I read more than 20 papers and about 16 books of all sorts. Reading is never the problem. My hang-up is to stop reading and start the actual writing of a paper. Hopefully the start of a new semester will force me to start writing....

Also, this semester is the last one that I need to attend classes. Although I've accumulated (more than) enough credits, there is still one class that I need to attend. Yes, it is one of those attendance-required-but-credits-not-counted kind of class. Anyway, I will be going to school most of the days as I've gotten a room in the library again for this coming semester. What can I say, I love my library! :) Hopefully I'll be able to produce a paper or two before the end of this new semester.

Jun 12, 2014

rio 2014

This year the World Cup is being held in Rio de Janeiro and the first match (Brazil vs Croatia) starts early tomorrow morning! Unfortunately I can't get live telecast through television or cable here in Taiwan. My only hope of watching matches live is via the internet. Hopefully I will find one that allows live streaming.

Anyway, the team I'm supporting is again Germany. :) As I've said before, I've always like the way the German national team played. Other than Die Mannschaft, I will also be watching matches involving Brazil (Grp A), Spain and The Netherlands (Grp B), England and Italy (Grp D), France (Grp E) and Portugal (Grp G). But ultimately I would love to see Germany win the Cup for the fourth time.

This time round, I will be in Europe for the later stages of the Cup, just like when I was in the US in 2002. Not sure if my CS hosts will be watching any of the matches, but I would love to see either or both The Netherlands and Belgium make it to the later stages. And I would want to be in a bar/pub and cheer with the locals for their team.

Here's to a clean and exciting World Cup 2014!

Jun 3, 2014

follow me

No, I'm not talking about the "Follow Me" brand of hygiene products.. I'm inviting you to follow me on Twitter and Instagram. As you can see, I've incorporated them into this blog, at the right hand panel.. I'm kinda late to this social media thing, but hey it's never too late to start sharing right?!

So for those who wanna follow me:
Twitter Account: @imm_alexis
Instagram ID: alexisgoh23

With Twitter I get to vent/share my thoughts and feelings more spontaneously without having to think about how to write a medium/long article for it. With Instagram I can share photos online faster with some real cool filters.. Of course this blog will continue to be the place with I'll share my thoughts, after it is properly crafted and structured.. but for on the spur of the moment ramblings, just follow me.. :)

Jun 1, 2014

ran out.

If you have been following my blog (which I hope you are although I don't put much confidence in it), you should notice that I've kinda ran out of things to put.. No more Sunday Serenade.. no more Poetry Solace.. and with the ease of posting through Twitter and Instagram, I've kinda sidelined this blog..

Anyway, I'll try to write at least once a week.. or simply share some random photos I took some time ago.. Another thing I wanna say thank you to those whom have been following this blog.. It may seemed narcissistic but I'm writing because I know someone out there is reading..

Have a great work week ahead!

May 15, 2014

got a PhD? so what?

Yes indeed.. For those who know the ways around it, it's really no big deal getting a PhD here.. As long as you have loads of money and/or the right 'connection', you can get a PhD, no problemo... You don't have to do real research work, cos you can either pay someone to do it for you or use the connection you have to apply pressure, and voila! A PhD degree at your doorstep..

One huge reason for this malady is the fact that people here often pursue the degree for (all) the wrong reasons. There are multitudes of reasons but rarely for the want to advance the research field or to contribute to the academia. Some are doing it because it is no longer brag-worthy as eMBA graduates are a dime a dozen these days.. Many did it or are doing it because they had to as their job/promotions depend on it.. Many are treating it as a job/chore, something to get over and done with.. Most of them want the prestige of being called 'Dr.' but not the real hard work that comes with it.

Universities here, and maybe everywhere else, are trying to 'improve' their research creed, especially now with all emphasis on world rankings and what-not. And what did the universities here do? Accept every Tina, Dick and Harry into the PhD program and force them to publish as part of graduation requirement.. So as long as they can pay the tuition and satisfied the barest minimum, just admit them.. At the same time ease the graduation criteria - no more qualification exams and less credits hours needed.  Any surprise that in the end, they attracted all the wrong people or people with the wrong type of mentalities?

When the only thing in the minds of these PhD students is 'How do I get the degree with the least amount of effort?', what do you get? Tons of 'research' papers published in dubious/shady journals. They will search for the most 'lenient' or 'payable' journals and try to get published there.. And these 'journals' will print whatever crap you write as long as you pay their hefty 'publication fee'. Yet some of the papers are so bad that even those journals rejected them. Most of the time, once published these papers will never be read/cited.

Seriously, what is the point of having so many PhD holders when most of them don't cut it? What is the benefit (to the society/country) of having so many such graduates? It only cheapens the value of a PhD and demoralized those whom really put great effort into their work. Once they get their PhD, many of these 'Dr' will never ever read much less write another research paper.. And for those faculty members, all they need is to publish until they get their tenure as professors, then they are 'secured' for life and can just 'cruise-along' until their retirement..

Though it is hardly a case of life and death, I don't think research is a field that should never tolerate mediocrity or sloppy work. Everyone should have the 'can do' and not 'can make do' attitude. We must never compromise, cut corners, steal other people's work or falsify data/results. Not all of us can be Porters, Maslows or Hofstedes nor can we all win Nobel prizes, but we must be willing to put in the effort required for good research.

PhD is no easy path..
I know that it is rare to find someone who really LOVE research or simply love to think, brain-storm, and then write about it. Although I did meet my fair share of phony scholars and pseudo researchers, I am/was very fortunate to have been taught by a few exemplary professors. They showed me how it is to be a conscientious and devoted scholar. In many ways, their passion and work ethics influenced me in wanting to be part of the academia. Unfortunately, what I've seen and heard here kinda dampened my interest in pursuing a future in the scholarly world.

Frankly, I don't count myself as being really passionate about research but I am going to do my best while I'm at it. I'm setting higher and more ambitious targets for myself because I know I can do it. I'm not saying that I will produce a masterpiece or be revered as a great researcher but at the very least it must be worthy to be referenced by other scholars. And I also believe that the things I learned along the way will be invaluable and as satisfying. I'm not saying that I am better than everyone, but I do think I am better than many of them.. Alas, to each their own.. if they can live with themselves, who am I to comment/judge? All I can do is do my best in my own ways and live up to my sets of work ethics.

I know by writing all these, I may have antagonize or offended many of my classmates and/or faculty members.. Yet I cannot NOT vent my frustration and disappointment.. After being in the PhD program for almost three years, I know the rules of the game.. I will play by the rules but I will do it my way on my conditions.. I will graduate when I feel that I'm well-equipped and qualified to be called 'Dr Goh'.

Apr 14, 2014

something to ponder

My bachelor degree from NUS is BSc. (Computer Science and Information Systems), while my masters from Waseda is MSc. (CIO/Management Information Systems).

So if I remove the first words from both..
Computer Science and Information Systems
CIO/Management Information Systems

Then, if I remove words that are common in both..
Science and Information Systems
Management Information Systems

If the word 'and' is also removed..

Words that are left:
Science 
Management

Re-arrange both, and I'll get
Management Science which is what my PhD is all about... 

So was it long predicted the field I'll doing for my PhD in or is this just an example of patternicity
You be the judge. :) 



Apr 7, 2014

back

Been back for more than a month now.. Had a great time back in Malaysia.. spent some quality time with my parents and my little sister. :)
Been busy catching up with stuff.. running around settling the usual red-tapes.. also spent a couple of days in Kaohsiung traveling although the main reason for my being there is to attend Joe's wedding.. Am in the process of sorting the photos and shall write a few entries about that trip..

Will be fairly busy in the months to come as I am in the midst of completing a conference paper due June. Will be heading to Rotterdam, The Netherlands end of Jun for an academic conference. Unlike Japan, I need to apply for financial support for that trip, so lots of bureaucratic hoops to jump through before securing the money. Even so, only my flight tickets and registration fees will be covered. I will be looking at the possibility of repeating my coach-surfing adventure once again, or use AirBnB since I plan to stay longer in fewer cities. So lots to do before then.. 

Jan 13, 2014

balik kampung

This is the last week of school.. My last class is this Thursday. And I'm flying home for CNY the very next day.. :) Will be in MY for about 6 weeks.. will miss the first 2 weeks of Semester 2.. told my adviser and he is cool about it. That's one huge reason why I picked him, he understands and not that rigid with rules.. :)

Sent in my paper last Thursday for a conference in July this year. Hope to get some good news end of Feb.. so at the mean time, I'm just gonna enjoy my holidays back home.. :)

Dec 31, 2013

looking back @ 2013

2013 has been a rather peaceful year for me, relatively speaking. And I am blessed to have received help and assistance from many around me this year. I am sincerely grateful to and for them.

Looking back, I  can’t seem to find any major upheaval of any sort. Yes, I’ve been pissed and frustrated quite a few times during the year, but nothing that I can’t get over. Most of them stemmed from unrealistic expectation and assumptions I have of people that I thought were my friends. So for the coming year, I will no longer allow these people to affect me in any ways. Will spend more time with positive people, friends and family, whenever possible. Life is too short, ignore all morons and negativity.

School-wise, 2013 was not too bad. Chosen an advisor who allows me the freedom and space to do things my way. Best decision ever for 2013. Had 2 papers published in a so-so journal. One was previously my homework assignment (me as first author) that I have improved upon, while the other was a proofreading job with extra perks (got paid and got listed as 3rd author :) ). So I will not set targets that are any lesser for 2014.

Health-wise, 2013 was a lazy year. The estate that I’m staying has a (free) gym of sort, so for the coming year I resolve to make use of it more often and start jogging more frequently. I am already doing lots of home-cooking ever since I moved to this place in June, so for 2014 I’m gonna eat more greens and fruits, and use less oil, salt and sugar in my cooking. Health is too precious to leave it in the hands of others.

I’m a hermit and I like to hibernate in my room. Did a lot of that in 2013. So for 2014, I will try to go out more often and visit outside of Taipei (and Danshui area where I’m staying). Also for the new year, I will continue to read (managed to read around 65+ books this year) and watch as much TV series as I can. :p These are my ways of relaxing and escaping into my mind. Hope to do some overseas traveling, if possible.

Looking forward, I hope 2014 will be a year of health, family/friends and (self) love. Anything else will be a bonus. And one thing is for sure, I’ll do my utmost to make 2014 a memorable one as it will be the last year of my thirties.

Happy New 2014, Everyone!

Dec 30, 2013

Decla-imm-ation 2013

Here are 15 decla-imm-ation for 2013 that I've posted in my FB:

No. 15 - Money is never enough. Neither is love, time, sleep, freedom, etc. Choose and prioritize wisely, or you will have more than enough regrets to last a lifetime.

No. 14 - Don’t pity yourself, no matter how shitty your life is (or you think it is). There are plenty of people doing that for you. You don’t need to join in the commiserating. It doesn't make it less shitty.

No. 13 - True altruism is rare. People do things because they want something back, one way or another. Just feel honored that you are worthy enough to be made used of.

No. 12 - Don’t try to change people. If you don’t want to change, what makes you think that others would? Flaws is what makes us human. To each their own.

No. 11 - Say your piece and then hold your peace. People don’t have to accept your opinion/advice. They have every right to live their life the way they want, messed up or otherwise.

No. 10 - Don’t envy others. We only show our best to the world. We hide our scars and demons. Only we would know of the blood, sweat and tears we endured along the way.

No. 09 - Don’t try to please everyone. Even God can’t do it. Just be yourself and do what you think you should. People will talk, one way or another. Conscious clear, enough said.

No. 08 - Don’t bite more than you can chew. You may fail to deliver your promise or you may have to sacrifice your health/family/whatever doing it. Either way, it’s not worth it. Just say ‘No’.

No. 07 - Accept whatever ‘gifts’ you didn’t ask for. You are helping people feel good about themselves by letting them think that they are better off than you. A win-win situation.

No. 06 - Never assume you know the whole truth. There are too many sides to a story. And we tend to only see/accept the one we are familiar/comfortable with. Be open and ready to admit your mistakes.

No. 05 - Single? Good. Married? Good. Divorced? Good. Widowed? Sorry about that. Got kid? Good. Got kids? Good. No kids? Good. In any case, be happy with your choices, even when you didn’t choose it. You are not defined by your marriage and kids (or the lack of).

No. 04 - Don’t compare. You are definitely worse off than the richest, but you are much more fortunate than the poorest/sickest. Look at what you have, not what you don’t have. Be grateful.

No. 03 - Don’t expect people to fix your problems. People don’t owe you anything and you them. If they lend a hand, be grateful but don’t assume they should and would.
 
No. 02 - Remember those who (back)stabbed you. They are the one who can’t sleep at night and/or worry about karma. Forgive but don’t forget. Know who is friend and who is foe. .
 
No. 01 - Count your blessings and forget about your bad fortune. Don’t worry, you’ll have lots of people keeping score of your bad luck and will not hesitate to remind you of it ever so often. 



Dec 2, 2013

it's Dec already??

Time flies, even when you are not doing anything...

Been a while since my last blog entry. I apologize for the lack of entry.. Hard to sit down and actually write a proper entry these days.. also, I've joined tweetosphere almost a month ago.. and I've been tweeting fairly frequently. for those who wants to follow me, here's my username: @imm_alexis

The weather is getting freaking cold (yeah, what else is new in winter?). I don't really mind the cold, but I hate the wetness. It doesn't snow here, so it rains.. >.< Anyway, since I need to go to school only twice or thrice a week, I spend most of my time in my room - doing my translation, research/readings and watching US TV shows.

I know that I need to get out more often, but I must admit that I am lazy. Also, going out means additional expenses. I'm not one who likes to wander around aimlessly or do window shopping. I need to have a purpose, like going to museums for special exhibitions or climbing certain hills/mountains. All that need prior planning which I need time to do. Anyway, I will put it as one of my new year resolution for next year to go out more often.

Hope to write more the next time. So in the meantime, if you wanna know what I've been up to, follow me on Twitter.. :)

Nov 5, 2013

3654days ago

Today 10 years ago, I was fired from my (first) job. Although I have been ‘commemorating’ this day in my blog for years (here and here), I didn’t explicitly specify what it was. Now you know.

To say that the sacking came as a bombshell was a gross understatement. It shocked me to my core, and it was one that I will never forget. The betrayal and hypocrisy that I’ve experienced first-hand had since shaped my views and feelings on many things. At that time I was guileless and far too trusting, and those were bad combination with my ambitiousness and aggressiveness. I stepped on toes and antagonized many, including my ex-boss, without knowing and paid the price.

Ups & downs.. lows & highs.. that's LIFE..
At just 29, I was coming up the ranks too fast for my own good. I didn’t have nor learn the necessary skills and aptitude required to move up the ladder. I was tactless, insensitive, and (too) sure of myself (and my capabilities). I was sacked on the day that I was supposed to discuss my increment/bonus with my ex-boss. Talk about being stabbed in the back. But I should have seen it coming if only I was more conscious of the situation. I refused to ‘bend’, and in the end I was forced to break. My huge ego was shot to pieces. And my trust of people never recovered. Even to this day.

There’s no point pondering about the “what ifs”, but I can’t help myself sometimes. Would I take back the things I’ve done that led to the termination? Maybe. I have temperament issues that I wasn’t aware of. I was committing career suicide unknowingly. No one dared to tell me or point it out to me. And I didn’t know how to reflect on myself. I would have become more ‘obnoxious’ and overbearing if that firing didn’t happen. It forced me to look inside and faced my flaws. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t pretty. But in the end, I did change for the better. And as a bonus, I have also learned the rules of the interpersonal ‘game’, albeit the hard way.

Also, I know now that I took a tumble at a time that I can afford to. If it were to happen later, I don’t think I would have the willpower and ability to get back on my feet. The higher you are the harder you fall, and consequently the harder to get back up. I stumbled before turning 29. I had sufficient time to learn from my mistakes, refocus my life and start afresh. For one, I seriously doubt that I would have gone to Japan for my Masters if I remained a ‘manager’ in the company, much less come over to TW to pursue my PhD.

One thing is for sure, I would not have come through the ordeal without the help and support of my family and (a few) friends. Over the years, I found out who my true friends are and who are just ‘passersby’ in my life. I am still learning to not care as much when we drift apart. We all heard about fair-weathered friends, but many times, friends drift apart when there are no longer any crisis or (common) grievances to bind them together. I am tired of making new friends. The ‘ROI' of searching for new (good) friends just isn’t there. I’m not against having acquaintances or (general) friends, but it’s hard to find people who 'get' me. And people always want something in return for their ‘friendship’. So I rather be anti-social (although I see myself more as being introvert) than waste my time on people who don't matter.

Looking back, 10 years later, I can see very clearly now how that incident has changed my life. I was forced to take a different path. Was it for the better? I do not know. Only (more) time will tell. But one thing is for sure, I am contented with what I have now. Do I want more? Of course! Who doesn’t? Yet, I know I will not want to trade what I have now for a do-over. I am glad to have met the people I’ve met these past 10 years. I treasure every encounter and experience I had so far, good and bad. Even though some of them brought me much heartaches and disappointments, but I have no regrets. I am who I am right now thanks to the different path that I’ve taken.