Regarding Happiness

This is a translation of an article that was shared by a friend on Facebook..
It was an article by 張忠謀Morris Chang, titled 張忠謀說幸福(二).
I find it very enlightening.. so I decided to translate it into English, so that more people will be able to read and gain something out of it..
Thus I have no intention of violating any copyrights of the author nor making profit out from this..

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Regarding Happiness by Morris Chang

Relationships based on "Love at first sight" and "Staying faithful to one" are unrealistic, and we do not need such impractical and illusory feelings.

Someone once described having a relationships is just like looking for pebbles on the beach.
Everyone would pick the one they liked.
Once you have found the one you like, you would take it home and treat it well, as it is your only pebble.
And keep in mind, never to go back to the beach again.
(You have to believe that you have found the biggest, the best and the one pebble that suits you the most.)

The most important thing about a relationship isn't about how good he/she is, but how good he/she is TO YOU.

A person might have very good qualities, scoring 100% on your scale. Yet he/she is only willing to share with you 30-40% or just 10-20% of what he/she has; Conversely, another person might be only have 70%, yet he/she is willing to share all of what he/she has with you. Who would you choose??

Actually, everyone is blessed with the same qualities.
No matter how good you are, there will be someone who is better.
Even though you couldn't be "the best", but you can be "the best person to him/her".
Every man can say: "I might not be the best man in the world, but I will be the best man in your world."

It is the same for the women too. It is doable for everyone.
The most important thing in a relationship is: how good is he/she treating you, not how good he/she is.
And if a person who is good, and he/she loves you wholeheartedly and unconditionally, then you can really spend the rest of your life with this person.

Things that modern women should consider are:
do you love him? does he loves you? is he true to you?
is there any pressure being with him? are you happy with him?
and not what he owns!

True love is invaluably rare.
In one's lifetime, it is hard to find the one that you truly loves, one whom you will spend the rest of your life with.
If you are afraid to let your feelings show or afraid that something (bad) will happen, then it would be a regrettable loss if you knowingly miss this one and only chance you have.
Thus you must take the initiative and confess your true feelings.

If a man looks down on a woman for taking the initiative, then he is not a man but a beast.
Furthermore, happiness is much more important than saving face.
If you could gain a lifetime of happiness from a brief loss of face, isn't it a good deal?!?
Bravely say what is in your heart, don't hide what you really feel.
Never say that you have yet to meet your destiny.
Destiny can be found everywhere, just that they are fleeting and transient.
If you are not able to build "relation" in time, how will you see where the "ship" will take you?

Most women emphasize on feelings, while men tend to be more physical.
Other than being considerate and obliging to the women, the men should be responsible for the woman.
He must channel all his charms, consideration and obligation for all the women in the world to just one woman.
Also, being macho or inarticulate doesn't get you anywhere with the women, so learn to talk sweetly and nicely.
Men, sex to love; Women, love to sex.

Will a relationship that is easy and fun to maintain last longer?
Will a relationship that is difficult and painful to maintain not last long?
This is all about choices.
We are all mortal beings, we all want love that is mundane, blissful and happy.

For all relationships, the journey is far more important than the destination.
Why? Because all relationships do not have an outcome.
What should be the end result? Marriage?

Is it to live happily (married) ever after?
Thus we do not judge its value from the outcome of a relationship, nor do we quantify its worth from the length of a relationship.
In feelings, whatever that happened do exist,
and whatever that existed has its values.

Every part, every minute or every second of a relationship is priceless.
Marriage is the biggest gamble in one's life.
Infinitely, we have to keep on showing the worst and ugliest sides of ourselves to our partners.
The difference between being in love and being in a marriage is:
While in love, you can spend 2 hours getting yourself ready, paying undivided attention to him/her, be caring and considerate and accomplish whatever that is expected of you easily.

And no one will be able to maintain such excited state throughout a marriage.
So marriage is a gamble, one that you need to be prepared for, one that you need to be confident about.
Even after all these preparations, you might still lose everything at the table.

So if even before the gamble, you knew that you're having second thoughts, don't love him/her, don't want to spend your life with him/her, then you are bound to lose.

Don't ever get married for reasons other than love.
What is priceless is not what you can gain from the other person.
On one hand, it is the feeling of being needed and being relied on,
"Someone needs me, someone depends on me, I shall get my satisfaction."

With regards to relationships, we need to adopt 3 policy of "Don't":

No. 1: Don't rush. Don't rush to get married.
Although marriage is a beautiful thing, don't be anxious. What is yours will be yours.

No.2: Don't be afraid to give.
A lifetime of efforts must be taken by both parties in order to maintain a relationship.
You won't "get" a good relationship.
You can only find the person you love and together you work hard to maintain, keep and grow your relationship.
If you don't plan to be a good man, then you won't get a good woman.
No bad guy will get a good woman, bad guys only end up with pitiful ones.
Similarly no bad woman will land herself a good man.
In the relationship, there is someone who will work together with you to make it a success.
This type of partnership can be highly successful, if you are willing to put in an effort and give.

No.3: Don't give up.
When you are beaten, frustrated or hurt,
or when you are disappointed and disheartened,
someone is there, supporting, comforting, and encouraging you to get back on your feet, someone who is always on your side, giving you the strength to face the world again,
these can't be done by your parents, your siblings nor your best friends,
only the beloved companion that you have seek and found in your life's journey is capable of such feats.

In fact, love is the only one true thing in life,
the only thing worth pursuing.
As long as you have your loved one by your side, you will have the catalyst to face the world.

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Let me know what you think.. of the article or my translation.. :)