Sayonara Auld Lang Syne

Almost everyone knows the lyrics to this song, yet when and why exactly should we “forget old acquaintance”? In my case, many of my old “acquaintance” and “friends” don't need a reason or a timeline to do that.

I am and will always be a traveler. 

People always say absence makes the hearts grow fonder, but they forgot to mention that there’s a limit to how long that absence can be before amnesia sets in and the hearts find new person(s) to be fond with. If this is what’s happening to (some, if not most) marriages and relationships, what chance does friendship has? Especially for “friends” who meet up once a week, once a month, or once a year. In this era of social media where a single click to "accept" can get you as many friends as you want, the definition of "friend" has been reused, misused and overused.

Every time I move to a new city/country, I make some new friends but lost most of my old ones. I did try to keep those old ones, through emails and FB, but people change and priorities shift. The tacit understanding that once connected us no longer exists and all that’s left is awkwardness and pleasantries. And I don’t do pleasantries. Not all (friends) is lost, but it really does take 2 to tango. Thus when the drifted is finally apart, I just re-categorize them in my life (and my FB) and move on with Life.. Life is too short to be wasted looking back, especially at people who doesn't matter.. 

Maybe it’s just me. I’m always the unorthodox outsider who doesn't belong to any “in-group”. I’m forever the foreigner. I’ll always be an afterthought. We all played a part in each other's life during that specific time and space when the cosmic alignment made us friends. Our paths crossed, merged and diverged.. Memory stays and fades.. Such is Life..  

To all my friends and "friends", Happy New Year!

2012 In Retrospect - Five Things (I)

2012 is a boringly interesting year for me.. Many things have happened but none major.. Here is a quick look at five worth-mentioning things that had came to pass..

1. Missed CNY reunion dinner
For the first time in my life, I was not with my family for CNY.. It wasn't an easy decision and definitely wasn't a very nice experience that I would want to repeat in future.. so I'll be going home next CNY.. :)

2. Taught English
Been teaching my senior's 2 sons English for the past 8 months and it was a fun experience. However, I've just 'resigned' from this teaching assignment last week as I need to concentrate on my research and writing (see No. 5). I didn't want to just "cruise along" and get paid.

3. Snail-mailing
Started corresponding with my god-son Rio about 4 months ago. In an age where emails and instant messaging rule, it is refreshing to write letters and mail them via the postal office. So far, I've received 2 cards and 1 letter from him.. looking forward to getting more.. :)

4. Satisfied my credit requirements
After this semester, I would have gotten all the credits needed for my PhD. Even though this is the easiest requirement to meet, it was still a challenge to get all 36 credits.. Of course, I won't stop taking classes if they are gonna be useful to me in future. After all, I did come here to learn.. :)

5. Chose my PhD advisor
I finally made my choice and approached a Professor in my dept to be my thesis advisor. Having made this decision meant that I would now have to be answerable not only to myself but to him too. I would need to show something for my time as I don't have any more excuses for unproductiveness..

Contemplation

We are all but travelers of this journey called life,
               each heading to faraway destinations unknown..
Fate may have placed us in the same vehicle,
               it cannot hold those who have drifted together..
Strangers can became friends and even confidants,
               tho' the reverse is more effortless than one would admit..
People whom you thought cared no longer do,
               and friends who were once important aren't no more..
Solidarity is an alluring mirage that shatters,
               when priorities clashes and sincerity don't matters..
Affinity is nothing but a perceived conception,
                born out of solitude, boredom and convenience..
Hold on to whatever you have or think you have,
                as all things are fragile, fleeting and transient..
Yet mourn not when everything seemed lost,
                for then you'll know you are more than what you possessed..

Sunday Serenade: settle down

It's gonna be New Year in a couple of days.. so let's have a fun and party song this Sunday.. Enjoy!


Settle Down
performed by No Doubt






Have a great week ahead! Party safe! :)

Tarot readings.. XII

In a few more days, it will be 2013.. another brand new year..
So, I'm gonna do a reading to conclude this fairly exciting-yet-kinda boring year.. so here goes.. :)
Note that all pictures of tarot cards are from http://phpbb-tw.net/phpbb/thoth/ and there is no intention of infringing any copyright.
所有的塔罗图片都采自竹猫星球塔罗馆 （http://phpbb-tw.net/phpbb/thoth)，本部落并无意侵犯版权。


對 學　　業 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in : Education

現狀 Current Situation: 命運之輪 [Fortune]

你不但對功課應付自如，對於其他才藝類、實驗類的科目也很拿手，而且是常常參加比賽或是甄選的人，在校內評價很高。
You are handling your studies well, and you are good in other talent-related and experimental subjects too. Thus you are one who is always involved in competitions. In school, you are highly regarded and has a good reputation.

問題 Problem: 教皇 [The Hierophant]

你可能給自己太大的壓力，不懂得念書的技巧，所以念書方式沒什麼效率，而且就算你比較沒有辦法突破以往成績的限制。
You might be giving yourself too much pressure and may not have the correct study technique. Thus you are not very effective in your studies and could not overcome some of the barriers.

建議 Suggestion: 藝術 [Art]

越往上念，課業內容自然就是越來越不好應付，在轉換過程中，是一定會感到吃力的，但是最終一定能衝破瓶頸，找到新的學習模式。
The higher/further you study, it is only natural that it gets tougher/more difficult. You will definitely feel the strain while you change and adapt, but in the end, you will overcome all these and find a new way of studying.



對 健康運勢 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in: Health:

現狀 Current Situation: 星星 [The Star]

沒有辦法掌握自己的健康狀況，你對自己的體質懵懵懂懂，吃保健時品或挑選養生方式，都無法針對自己最需要的地方來處理；跟健康比起來，你反而比較重視如何裝扮、塑身^^~。
You are not able to grasp your health condition and unfamiliar with your body functions. Either consuming health products or choosing the best health ritual poses a problem to you. You are more willing to spend time dressing up.

問題 Problem : 調整 [Adjustment]

你的生活偏向公式化，吃的用的跟做的事情都是重複性的，這樣容易造成營養或是運動方式不均衡，而且會造成的問題，都是短期之內沒辦法看出來的。
Your lifestyle is monotonous and habitual, eating and doing the same things all the time. These unbalanced diet or exercise may cause problems in the long-run which may not be obvious right now.


建議 Suggestion: 惡魔 [The Devil]

這代表你要有耐心花錢花時間來替自己的健康打底，而且除了一般的保健方式，多做善事，或是加入宗教、心靈團體當義工，也有助於你的心情平靜，解除壓力。
This card means that you need patience and money to maintain your health. In addition to the usual health care, you need to do more charities or join a religious or spiritual groups to help you stay calm and remove stress.




對 人際運勢 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in : Human Relationships

現狀 Current Situation: 隱者 [The Hermit]

有很多以前覺得很重要的朋友，目前大多斷了聯絡，可能因為你的生命轉了一個大彎，離開原有的生活圈，但是新的社交圈又還沒建立起來。
You have lost contact with many old friends who were once important to you, due to some major changes in your life. You have left the old circle of friends and have yet to make new ones.

問題 Problem: 調整 [Adjustment]

你跟朋友的互動都很正常，平日一般的人際互動看來也都很好，但往往在需要有知心的朋友能分享一些情緒時，會發現跟你有到這個深度的朋友，還真少.....。
Your relationship with your friends are normal, and so is your daily interaction with them. But when you want to find someone who can share your feelings or emotions, you realized that your choices are very limited..

建議 Suggestion: 戰車 [The Chariot]

衝動的時候，就盡量不要開口，免得造成不可彌補的傷害；這張牌告訴你，現在的關係僵持、停滯是暫時的，撐過這段時間後，情況就會明朗化。
When you are impatient, try not to speak so as not to damage things beyond repair. This card tells you that the current stalemate is temporary and things will clear-up in a while.




對 財　　運 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in: Wealth:

現狀 Current Situation: 教皇 [The Hierophant]

在財運方面，你很有計劃，也知道怎麼量入為出；雖然沒有什麼偏財運，但正財運卻是一直很穩定的，資產會累積增加。
In terms of finance, you have a set of plans and know how to control your spending based on your income. Although you don't have much luck in gambling or other lottery, your main income source has always been good and you are slowly accumulating assets.

問題 Problem: 月亮 [The Moon]

你常會為了發洩壓力而花錢，對錢的控管是一種情緒化的反應，所以完全沒辦法控制收支，如果繼續這樣下去，難保不會在壓力下，做出有違法律的事。
You tend to spend money as a means of stress relief. Your financial control is an emotional reflects, thus you are unable to totally control your spending. If things go on the way it is now, you might be in financial trouble.

建議 Suggestion: 女皇 [The Empress]

這張牌表示，花錢花得精，就可以不用花太多；試著把花錢的習慣轉為自我投資，例如愛買化妝品的人，乾脆去學彩妝，把花出去的錢再賺回來。
This card showed that as long as the money is well spent, you don't have to spend as much as you think you need. Try to spend the money as a way to invest in yourself. Spend it on yourself so that you can earn more in return.

Experiment

I decided to do a little experiment.. and the result is very disheartening but no less surprising..

FB has a BD reminder function. It will tell you whose BD it is today by listing the BD girl's/boy's name(s) on the top right panel. Unless you specify "Don't show my birthday on my timeline", FB will automatically broadcast your BD to all your friends when your big day comes. I had turned that function off two weeks prior. I wanted to see how many of these FB "friends" of mine will actually remember my BD and the result confirmed my suspicions.

I have 270+ "friends" on FB, but almost 97% of them are old classmates, ex-colleagues and acquaintances whom I have not met much less talked to for months or years, some may have been more than 20 years ago! However, I do keep in touch, in FB sense, with at least a dozen of these friends, usually commenting on photos/statues, share links and other stuffs. Thus I was expecting maybe a handful of BD wishes from them, but alas, I was very much disappointed.. I received just 2.

Am I sad that I received only 2 BD wishes? Kind of, because it showed how fragile interpersonal relationships are and distance does not make the heart grows 'fonder' nor 'closer'. But all is not lost as I also felt relieved. Why? Because now I know who really care enough to actually make the effort to remember my BD, even if there's only 2 of them.

Life is too short to be wasted on those who doesn't matter. I think my BD is easier enough to remember - 2 days before Christmas and usually a day before the Winter Solstice. And if they don't even make the time to remember the most important day of my life, they are not worth more of my time nor effort. Like I said in my previous blog, I can be mean if I want to, but recently I've come to the conclusion that even being a b***h is a waste of my precious time and energy, so I will choose to just ignore or be 'courteous'.

We will always be 'friends' in FB, just not in RL.

Sunday Serenade: celebrate

Hey, it's my birthday today!! So let's celebrate with Mika! :)

And It will be OK.





Have a great week ahead! Have fun and be happy! It's the festive season! :) 

so

so, it's gonna be Dec 21 in a few hours' time... not that I'm holding my breath expecting something to happen, but this "End of the Day" thingy is gonna turn out to be all-bark-no-bite event.. anyway, stay safe and continue with your festival preparations.. and get ready for 2013.. which I know I will definitely be.. :)

Sunday Serenade: i won't give up

This week, let's have a R&B song by Jason Mraz... Enjoy!

I won't Give Up





Have a great week ahead! Take care and be safe!!!

Poetry Solace: Of hope and meaning

This week, I am sharing 2 poems from a Czech poet, Czeslaw Milosz...

Hope

Hope is with you when you believe

The earth is not a dream but living flesh,

that sight, touch, and hearing do not lie,

That all thing you have ever seen here

Are like a garden looked at from a gate.

You cannot enter. But you're sure it's there.

Could we but look more clearly and wisely

We might discover somewhere in the garden

A strange new flower and an unnamed star.

Some people say that we should not trust our eyes,

That there is nothing, just a seeming,

There are the ones who have no hope.

They think the moment we turn away,

The world, behind our backs, ceases to exist,

As if snatched up by the hand of thieves.

Meaning

When I die, I will see the lining of the world.

The other side, beyond bird, mountain, sunset.

The true meaning, ready to be decoded.

What never added up will add Up,

What was incomprehensible will be comprehended.

- And if there is no lining to the world?

If a thrush on a branch is not a sign,

But just a thrush on the branch? If night and day

Make no sense following each other?

And on this earth there is nothing except this earth?

- Even if that is so, there will remain

A word wakened by lips that perish,

A tireless messenger who runs and runs

Through interstellar fields, through the revolving galaxies,

And calls out, protests, screams.

Enjoy your weekend! Be safe!!

auspicious date

Nothing much to update.. as busy as always.. with the same old stuff - presentations, reports and translations.. the cold and wet weather is not helping with my productivity.. haven't been going to the library much as it's been raining most of the days and there's no heater in the little study room at the library.. and since I don't like being cold (nor hot, for that matter), I rather 'hibernate' in my room, wrapping myself in my blankets..

Anyway, it's 12-12-12 today.. :) 12 is one of my favorite numbers and the month of December is my favorite month.. and in less than 2 weeks, my 2 favorite days will be here.. unfortunately, I can't give myself a break as I have a presentation on boxing day that I'll have to prepare over that weekend.. but I think I will try to get some stuff done in advance so that I can at least have my b-day all to myself, doing nothing and just chilling.. :)

Sunday Serenade: young homie

It has been a while since I'm 'exposed' to new (English) songs. Went to MIX fm's website to see what are being played over the air in Malaysia. So I'll be sharing a few (new) songs that I liked from their list of chart toppers.

First up, a song by Chris Rene. Enjoy!


Young Homie
Open up my mind with these spoken words,
Let this music heal like an overture,
She's the only one, one, one, yeah, yeah
And so I roll with her, ooh,
That's how it's supposed to be,
Living life with loved ones close to me,
Shh, ahh, this is the remedy,
And I got the recipe, I don't need no Hennessy,
Yeah, it's been nine months now,
Haven't had a drink and I'm starting to see clear now,
I'm putting all my fears down,
I can hear the cheers now,
Seeing peace signs when I look around

[chorus] x2
Hey, young homie what you trippin' on
Looking at life, like how did I get it wrong,
Life's too short, gotta live it long,
To my brothers and sisters, when will we get along,
[end of chorus]

Open up your eyes, look around
Homie, can you see how it's going down?
Brothers locked up, sisters knocked up
If you wanna build your love up, put your hate down
Ooh, that's the only way to live
Turnin' negatives to positives
"It's gonna be alright" Bob Marley said
F*ck the dumb sh*t, keep it movin', that's what time it is

[chorus] x2

Give peace to the war in the streets,
Give peace to the evil that creeps, yeah,
I just ride, put my hand to the sky,
Live life like I'm never gon' die,
See we be fighting and fussing over nothing,
So much destruction, looking like puppets,
Combusting like nothing, now listen,
It takes education, to change your reputation,
From bad to good, you're gettin' better now you're elevating,
They be singing, family's hanging, everybody's chillin'
Not gonna stop this, living on the feeling,
Man this is the real thing, tell me can you feel me,
Wait 'til they drop this, dancing on the ceiling

Hey, young homie what you trippin' on
Ah, what you really trippin' on,
Life's too short, gotta live it long,
To my brothers and sisters when will we get along,
[chorus]




Have a great week ahead!! Be safe and stay healthy!!!!

Sunday Serenade: rainbow connection

This week, let's have a song by Kermit the Frog, who sang it in The Muppets Movie, together with Miss Piggy and the rest of the gang..

Enjoy!


Rainbow Connection
Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.




It's so nostalgic... :)
Have a great work/school week ahead! Stay safe and be happy!!!

Poetry Solace: Of heart, dream and reason

This weekend I'll share 3 poems from an  American lady poet, Stevie Smith... I like them short..

My Heart was Full

My heart was full of softening showers,

I used to swing like this for hours,

I did not care for war or death,

I was glad to draw my breath.

In My Dreams

In my dreams I am always saying goodbye and riding away,

Whither and why I know not nor do I care.

And the parting is sweet and the parting over is sweeter,

And sweetest of all is the night and the rushing air.

In my dreams they are always waving their hands and saying goodbye,

And they give me the stirrup cup and I smile as I drink,

I am glad the journey is set, I am glad I am going,

I am glad, I am glad, that my friends don't know what I think.

The Reason

My life is vile

I hate it so

I'll wait awhile

And then I'll go.

Why wait at all?

Hope springs alive,

Good may befall

I yet may thrive.

It is because I can't make up my mind

If God is good, impotent or unkind.

Enjoy your weekend and stay safe!!