The Question of God

This was a 4-hour documentary produced by PBS, chaired by Dr Armand Nicholi discussing the existence of God based on the lives and thoughts of C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud..

It was a thought provoking documentary to say the least.. Personally, I tend to side with Freud.. Although I do believe there is someONE up there, I don't think we have to keep mentioning HIS/HER name every time we wanna do anything, nor should we attribute EVERYTHING (good or bad) that has happened to us, to our family and to this world to HIM/HER. We are given choices to make in our lives and we have to live with the consequences that come with them.. I would not run to HIM/HER for every little thing/obstacle/question nor would I use prayers as a substitute for hard work or logical thinking.. Maybe all this have to do with my upbringing and my character.

The main 'dilemma' for me is this: Let's say I don't believe or I believed in the 'wrong' God, and in the end (judgment day or whatever), I am on the 'wrong' or 'losing' side, will I still be banished to Hell or not being able to go to Heaven, even though I had been a good person all my life?? To me this is not fair.. that's what is preventing me from believing in Christianity or Catholicism.. not that I had believed in them in the first place.. According to what little I understand, as long as one receive Jesus or God into their hearts, they are saved, even though they might be a bad person their whole lives.. To me that is VERY UNFAIR.. Like what was discussed in the documentary, this is like placing a bet.. betting on the right side (aka believe the right God) will give one salvation and eternal life after death.. If you bet on the wrong side, then you will be damned...

I really despise those who invoke their God's name in every single thing they do or behave as if they are much superior beings just because they believed in their God(s).. they like to pay lip-service to their God(s).. To me, action speaks louder.. What is the point of quoting HIS/HER name and yet do horrible things to fellow human beings?? you think HE/HER up there is so gullible to be taken by all these praises and good words?? If one do horrible things and yet is able to 'sweet-talk' one's way to HIS/HER good books, then I don't want to believe in that God..

So for me, Buddhism seems to be fairer.. One reaps what one sow and what goes around comes around, and you don't even have to believe in Buddha.. Your good deeds will be weight against your bad ones.. One will still get punished for the bad deeds, but after that one is rewarded for the good ones done.. To me, this is like having a point system that records all the good and bad things done, regardless of who is checking at the end of the day..

I really admired how Freud faces death during his last days.. he didn't turn to any religion, he didn't seek solace in any religion and he kept living to the fullest even when his cancer was causing him tremendous pain.. He was an atheist thorough and thorough even though he was brought up in very religious family (Judaism).. His courage speaks volumes! In my opinion, he was a brave man to the end.. I hope I would be half as courageous as he was when my time comes..

More information on this documentary.