looking back @ 2013

2013 has been a rather peaceful year for me, relatively speaking. And I am blessed to have received help and assistance from many around me this year. I am sincerely grateful to and for them.

Looking back, I  can’t seem to find any major upheaval of any sort. Yes, I’ve been pissed and frustrated quite a few times during the year, but nothing that I can’t get over. Most of them stemmed from unrealistic expectation and assumptions I have of people that I thought were my friends. So for the coming year, I will no longer allow these people to affect me in any ways. Will spend more time with positive people, friends and family, whenever possible. Life is too short, ignore all morons and negativity.

School-wise, 2013 was not too bad. Chosen an advisor who allows me the freedom and space to do things my way. Best decision ever for 2013. Had 2 papers published in a so-so journal. One was previously my homework assignment (me as first author) that I have improved upon, while the other was a proofreading job with extra perks (got paid and got listed as 3rd author :) ). So I will not set targets that are any lesser for 2014.

Health-wise, 2013 was a lazy year. The estate that I’m staying has a (free) gym of sort, so for the coming year I resolve to make use of it more often and start jogging more frequently. I am already doing lots of home-cooking ever since I moved to this place in June, so for 2014 I’m gonna eat more greens and fruits, and use less oil, salt and sugar in my cooking. Health is too precious to leave it in the hands of others.

I’m a hermit and I like to hibernate in my room. Did a lot of that in 2013. So for 2014, I will try to go out more often and visit outside of Taipei (and Danshui area where I’m staying). Also for the new year, I will continue to read (managed to read around 65+ books this year) and watch as much TV series as I can. :p These are my ways of relaxing and escaping into my mind. Hope to do some overseas traveling, if possible.

Looking forward, I hope 2014 will be a year of health, family/friends and (self) love. Anything else will be a bonus. And one thing is for sure, I’ll do my utmost to make 2014 a memorable one as it will be the last year of my thirties.

Happy New 2014, Everyone!

Decla-imm-ation 2013

Here are 15 decla-imm-ation for 2013 that I've posted in my FB:

No. 15 - Money is never enough. Neither is love, time, sleep, freedom, etc. Choose and prioritize wisely, or you will have more than enough regrets to last a lifetime.

No. 14 - Don’t pity yourself, no matter how shitty your life is (or you think it is). There are plenty of people doing that for you. You don’t need to join in the commiserating. It doesn't make it less shitty.

No. 13 - True altruism is rare. People do things because they want something back, one way or another. Just feel honored that you are worthy enough to be made used of.

No. 12 - Don’t try to change people. If you don’t want to change, what makes you think that others would? Flaws is what makes us human. To each their own.

No. 11 - Say your piece and then hold your peace. People don’t have to accept your opinion/advice. They have every right to live their life the way they want, messed up or otherwise.

No. 10 - Don’t envy others. We only show our best to the world. We hide our scars and demons. Only we would know of the blood, sweat and tears we endured along the way.

No. 09 - Don’t try to please everyone. Even God can’t do it. Just be yourself and do what you think you should. People will talk, one way or another. Conscious clear, enough said.

No. 08 - Don’t bite more than you can chew. You may fail to deliver your promise or you may have to sacrifice your health/family/whatever doing it. Either way, it’s not worth it. Just say ‘No’.

No. 07 - Accept whatever ‘gifts’ you didn’t ask for. You are helping people feel good about themselves by letting them think that they are better off than you. A win-win situation.

No. 06 - Never assume you know the whole truth. There are too many sides to a story. And we tend to only see/accept the one we are familiar/comfortable with. Be open and ready to admit your mistakes.

No. 05 - Single? Good. Married? Good. Divorced? Good. Widowed? Sorry about that. Got kid? Good. Got kids? Good. No kids? Good. In any case, be happy with your choices, even when you didn’t choose it. You are not defined by your marriage and kids (or the lack of).

No. 04 - Don’t compare. You are definitely worse off than the richest, but you are much more fortunate than the poorest/sickest. Look at what you have, not what you don’t have. Be grateful.

No. 03 - Don’t expect people to fix your problems. People don’t owe you anything and you them. If they lend a hand, be grateful but don’t assume they should and would.
 

No. 02 - Remember those who (back)stabbed you. They are the one who can’t sleep at night and/or worry about karma. Forgive but don’t forget. Know who is friend and who is foe. .

 

No. 01 - Count your blessings and forget about your bad fortune. Don’t worry, you’ll have lots of people keeping score of your bad luck and will not hesitate to remind you of it ever so often. 

Sunday Serenade: roar

Katy Perry's mv has always been very entertaining, and this one is no exception... and I like the empowerment that this song advocates.. :) So enjoy!

ROAR
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
[end of chorus]

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You'll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna hear me roar...

Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar

[chorus]
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You'll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna hear me roar...





Have a great week ahead! Enjoy the last few days of 2013.. Be safe and stay safe...

Poetry Solace: Of change and heart

For this week's entry and the one after this, I will be sharing a few poems from M. L. Liebler, taken from his Wide Awake in Someone else's Dream (2008).

I Once Refused to Changed

Finding my way here

In the darkness is

Like being a man who refuses

To change his life

Because he fears what

It might become.

In the end, this healing

Leaves only soft scars

Against a dark night of stars,

Sickles, and blazing red hammers.

Alone, Inside My Heart

I am listening to the church

Inside my heart, alone

On the river’s bank

Where I long for soft wind

To bend around my knees

With all the glory of this life.

I want to meditate upon

These trees that line the avenues

In the city of my forefathers. Stuttgart,

I stand alone in your shadow.

Once I was tired and broken.

Now, I find I am here,

Comforted in the house

Of my birth within

The tender heart of my life.

Have a great weekend! Be safe!

wishes

Wishing everyone a Happy Winter Solstice (especially to those who celebrate it) and Merry Christmas! 

May all be safe and healthy in this festive season.. 

Sunday Serenade: wake me up

Let's have a fast beat party song this week.. Wake me up by Avicii.. I like the lyrics a lot.. especially

Wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is the prize

and the chorus... Enjoy the song!

Wake Me Up

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

[2x]
So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
Hope I get the chance to travel the world
But I don't have any plans

Wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is the prize

[2x]
So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

Didn't know I was lost
I didn't know I was lost
I didn't know I was lost
I didn't know (didn't know, didn't know)






Have a festive week ahead!! Have fun but be safe!

Sunday Serenade: alone together

This week, let's have a (hard) rock song by the Fall Out Boys named Alone Together.. The music video isn't the usual kinda mv but it matches the lyrics and the mood of the song rather perfectly.. Enjoy!

Alone Together
I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home
And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin
And we're starting at the end

[chorus]
Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
Scream it from the top of your lungs
Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
We'll stay young, young, young, young, young.
[end of chorus]

You cut me off, I lost my track
It's not my fault, I'm a maniac
It's not funny anymore, no it's not

My heart is like a stallion
They love it more when it's broke in
Do you wanna feel beautiful?
Do you wanna?

I'm outside the door, invite me in
So we can go back and play pretend
I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next
Tonight I'm high as a private jet

'Cause I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home
And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin
And we're starting at the end

[chorus]

My heart is like a stallion,
They love it more when it's broke in
Do you wanna feel beautiful?
Do you wanna?

I'm outside the door, invite me in
So we can go back and play pretend
I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next
Tonight I'm high as a private jet, yeah

Yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
Scream it from the top of your lungs
Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
We'll stay young, young, young, young, young.

I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home
And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin
And we started at the end






Have a productive week ahead! Christmas is coming!! Stay healthy!

Poetry Solace: his days is done

More than a week ago, we lost a true hero.. a giant in the fight for equality and reconciliation.. Nelson Mandela was 95 years old.. Dr Maya Angelou paid a great respect to him with the following poem.. it is a heartfelt and moving tribute.. Do watch the Youtube video and read the words here..




Rest in Peace, Madiba. Time for you to rest and let us continue your fight...

Have a good weekend! Stay safe...

Sunday Serenade: closer

Seldom do we have twins in a group or band (or maybe it's me who didn't notice).. thus Tegan and Sara kinda stand out.. Here's one of their not so new song, Closer.

Enjoy!



p/s: If you want to see a cutesy 'dog-version' of this song, check it out here.. :)

Have a smooth week ahead! Be productive and stay safe!

it's Dec already??

Time flies, even when you are not doing anything...

Been a while since my last blog entry. I apologize for the lack of entry.. Hard to sit down and actually write a proper entry these days.. also, I've joined tweetosphere almost a month ago.. and I've been tweeting fairly frequently. for those who wants to follow me, here's my username: @imm_alexis

The weather is getting freaking cold (yeah, what else is new in winter?). I don't really mind the cold, but I hate the wetness. It doesn't snow here, so it rains.. >.< Anyway, since I need to go to school only twice or thrice a week, I spend most of my time in my room - doing my translation, research/readings and watching US TV shows.

I know that I need to get out more often, but I must admit that I am lazy. Also, going out means additional expenses. I'm not one who likes to wander around aimlessly or do window shopping. I need to have a purpose, like going to museums for special exhibitions or climbing certain hills/mountains. All that need prior planning which I need time to do. Anyway, I will put it as one of my new year resolution for next year to go out more often.

Hope to write more the next time. So in the meantime, if you wanna know what I've been up to, follow me on Twitter.. :)

Sunday Serenade: wake up

Found this song on Youtube a couple of days ago. Like the lyrics..

I'm scared to love what we love most
It's only gonna take a little time
Before we start to lose our minds

So here's AWOLNATION's Wake Up. Enjoy!





Have a great week ahead! Keep warm and stay cheerful!

Poetry Solace: Of hope

Hope by Daniel Mark Epstein

In winter the crescent moon vanishes

So quickly in the blue, down the horizon,

Between the starry darkness and morning,

Like the hull of a ship without rigging

That I was meaning to load with wishes,

O not for me, my dear, wishes for you,

And you and you, my friends, all of us,

Such cargo as could only ride upon

The silver shell of that hallowed galleon.

I daydreamed, got bewildered by my muse,

Sun on the lace of frost, and fading Venus.

I looked up, and the reckless moon had gone.

Have a restful weekend. Be safe!

Sunday Serenade: you've got time

Few weeks ago, I binge-watched Orange is the New Black until 4am.. All I can say is, OITNB totally ROCKS!!

The plot/storyline of the show is something that will NEVER appear in Asian dramas.. It is definitely not for those who like simple, uncomplicated 'happily every-after' kind of drama. It's not for everyone, but those who do love it.

So this weekend, let's have the theme song of the show called "You've Got Time" by Regina Spektor.. I like the lyrics.. :)  Enjoy!

You've Got Time
The animals, the animals
Trapped, trapped, trapped 'till the cage is full
The cage is full
Stay awake
In the dark, count mistakes
The light was off but now it's on
Searching the ground for a bitter song
The sun is out, the day is new
And everyone is waiting, waiting on you
And you've got time
And you've got time

Think of all the roads
Think of all their crossings
Taking steps is easy
Standing still is hard
Remember all their faces
Remember all their voices
Everything is different
The second time around

The animals, the animals
Trapped, trapped, trapped 'till the cage is full
The cage is full
Stay awake
In the dark, count mistakes
The light was off but now it's on
Searching the ground for a bitter song
The sun is out, the day is new
And everyone is waiting, waiting on you
And you've got time
And you've got time
And you've got time





Have a productive week ahead!! Be safe and cheery!

Sunday Serenade: here's to never growing up

Have always liked the rebellious streak in Avril Lavigne's songs..  So here's another one.. :) Enjoy!!

Here's to Never Growing Up
[Chorus]
Singing Radiohead at the top of our lungs
With the boom box blaring as we're falling in love
Got a bottle of whatever, but it's getting us drunk
Singing here's to never growing up
[end of Chorus]

Call up all our friends, go hard this weekend
For no damn reason, I don't think we'll ever change
Meet you at the spot, half past ten o'clock
We don't ever stop, and we're never gonna change

[Chorus 2]
Say, won't you stay forever stay
If you stay forever hey
We can stay forever young
[end of Chorus 2]

[Chorus]
We'll be running down the street, yelling "Kiss my ass!"
I'm like yeah whatever, we're still living like that
When the sun's going down, we'll be raising our cups
Singing, here's to never growing up

Oh whoa, oh whoa, here's to never growing up
Oh whoa, oh whoa, here's to never growing up

We live like rock stars, dance on every bar
This is who we are, I don't think we'll ever change (hell no!)
They say just grow up, but they don't know us
We don't give a fuck, and we're never gonna change

[Chorus 2]
[Chorus]
We'll be running down the street, yelling "Kiss my ass!"
I'm like yeah whatever, we're still living like that
When the sun's going down, we'll be raising our cups
Singing, here's to never growing up

Oh whoa, oh whoa, here's to never growing up
Oh whoa, oh whoa, here's to never growing up

[Chorus 2]
[Chorus]
We'll be running down the street, yelling "Kiss my ass!"
I'm like yeah whatever, we're still living like that
When the sun's going down, we'll be raising our cups
Singing, here's to never growing up

Oh whoa, oh whoa, here's to never growing up
Oh whoa, oh whoa, (yeah raise your glass and say) here's to never growing up
Oh whoa, oh whoa, (da de da de da) here's to never growing up (no we're never growing up)
Oh whoa, oh whoa, here's to never growing up






Have a great week ahead! Be cool and stay cheerful!

Poetry Solace: Of nature - winter

From No One Can Stem the Tide by Jane Tyson Clement.. a poem about winter..

(61) Winter

The dark emerging trees 
from the new-winter wood 
are lovelier than leaves, 
as cold is also good.

The heart’s necessities 
include the interlude 
of frost-constricted peace 
on which the sun can brood.

The strong and caustic air 
that strikes us to the bone 
blows till we see again 
the weathered shape of home.

No season of the soul 
strips clear the face of God 
save cold and frozen wind 
upon the frozen sod.


Have a great weekend! Be safe but enjoy! :)

Sunday Serenade: how far we've come

Last week I've mentioned about how something that had happened 10 years ago that sorta changed the course of my life and wondered how far I've come.. so this week I'm gonna share this old song (2007) by Matchbox Twenty with a title that just seems perfect for the occasion.. :)

Enjoy!

How Far We've Come
Waking up at the start of the end of the world,
But it's feeling just like every other morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

[Chorus]
I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Well I believe it all is coming to an end
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
[end of Chorus]

I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know
And I can't remember caring for an hour or so
Started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street took a look at myself
Said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
Say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

[Chorus]

It's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
It was cool cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you
Well it's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you

[Chorus]
Let's see how far we've come x7






Have a productive week ahead! Be good and stay healthy!

‘混假油’事件

在目前這種笑貧不笑賤、崇拜追求金錢名利的社會裡，商人為了牟取暴利而採取不道德昧良心的手段，欺騙並出賣消費者似乎已經變成了‘定律’。無奸不商也已成為致富的潛規則。而這種現象似乎在所謂以華人（中國人）為主的社會中尤其明顯，新加坡除外。台灣和中國的食品業者好像在比賽看誰可以瞞天過海魚目混珠，以最廉價的（化學）物料賺取最高的利潤。這些業者利用無限的‘創意’制造出了許許多多又假又毒的食品，殘害了多少‘自己的同胞’卻一點悔意都沒有，也根本不懼怕所謂的報應或天譴。

華人社會整體來說對‘錢’看得非常重。我認為已經到了病態的地步。從小就常聽到大人說：“要好好讀書，以后才能夠賺大錢”。我們很少會說：“要好好讀書，以后做個對社會有用或有貢獻的人”。我們都是以一個人賺多少來衡量一個人的價值。賺得多就是‘有路用’，賺得少就是‘無路用’。所以奸商不擇手段后身價上千億，我認為他們只不過是迎合社會的‘期待’罷了。

只要有了錢，社會大眾就會主動上前巴結奉承。有錢人所說的話都成了真理名言，有錢人所做的事即成了豐功偉業。大家都以羨慕崇拜的眼光看著那些有錢人，狠不得自己可以沾點光，奢望能夠被提拔成為下一個有錢人。因為有了錢，名和勢就會隨之而來。為了錢連身體靈魂都可以出賣或兜售的新聞在中、港、台層出不窮也不是無道理的。男人為了錢，偷坑蒙拐騙搶無所不用其極；女人為了 錢，什麼都可以典當變賣交易。人們常說年輕一代的價值觀扭曲，我卻覺得那都是父母社會造成的。當每個人都如此地‘崇尚’金錢，誰會願意做個高尚的窮人呢？

如果大統的高老板會‘做人’，把自家的員工都照顧好並高薪款待，試問這次的‘假油’事件還會爆發嗎？這件事情被踢爆不是因為員工良心發現，覺得欺騙並危害大眾的健康是件很不道德的事情后告發自己的老板。他們之所以會密告衛生局是因為不滿（眼紅）老板賺那麼多卻還對員工壓榨剝削。到頭來還是‘錢’字在作祟。 黑心食品，只要有錢賺而且有法律漏洞可以鑽，這種生意永遠都會有（很多）人躍躍欲試的。人性被錢蒙蔽了，良心被錢收買了。

總而言之，這整個‘混假油’事件赤裸裸地把（華人）人性的險惡丑陋曝露無疑。我們要反思檢討的太多了。。

3654days ago

Today 10 years ago, I was fired from my (first) job. Although I have been ‘commemorating’ this day in my blog for years (here and here), I didn’t explicitly specify what it was. Now you know.

To say that the sacking came as a bombshell was a gross understatement. It shocked me to my core, and it was one that I will never forget. The betrayal and hypocrisy that I’ve experienced first-hand had since shaped my views and feelings on many things. At that time I was guileless and far too trusting, and those were bad combination with my ambitiousness and aggressiveness. I stepped on toes and antagonized many, including my ex-boss, without knowing and paid the price.

Ups & downs.. lows & highs.. that's LIFE..

At just 29, I was coming up the ranks too fast for my own good. I didn’t have nor learn the necessary skills and aptitude required to move up the ladder. I was tactless, insensitive, and (too) sure of myself (and my capabilities). I was sacked on the day that I was supposed to discuss my increment/bonus with my ex-boss. Talk about being stabbed in the back. But I should have seen it coming if only I was more conscious of the situation. I refused to ‘bend’, and in the end I was forced to break. My huge ego was shot to pieces. And my trust of people never recovered. Even to this day.

There’s no point pondering about the “what ifs”, but I can’t help myself sometimes. Would I take back the things I’ve done that led to the termination? Maybe. I have temperament issues that I wasn’t aware of. I was committing career suicide unknowingly. No one dared to tell me or point it out to me. And I didn’t know how to reflect on myself. I would have become more ‘obnoxious’ and overbearing if that firing didn’t happen. It forced me to look inside and faced my flaws. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t pretty. But in the end, I did change for the better. And as a bonus, I have also learned the rules of the interpersonal ‘game’, albeit the hard way.

Also, I know now that I took a tumble at a time that I can afford to. If it were to happen later, I don’t think I would have the willpower and ability to get back on my feet. The higher you are the harder you fall, and consequently the harder to get back up. I stumbled before turning 29. I had sufficient time to learn from my mistakes, refocus my life and start afresh. For one, I seriously doubt that I would have gone to Japan for my Masters if I remained a ‘manager’ in the company, much less come over to TW to pursue my PhD.

One thing is for sure, I would not have come through the ordeal without the help and support of my family and (a few) friends. Over the years, I found out who my true friends are and who are just ‘passersby’ in my life. I am still learning to not care as much when we drift apart. We all heard about fair-weathered friends, but many times, friends drift apart when there are no longer any crisis or (common) grievances to bind them together. I am tired of making new friends. The ‘ROI' of searching for new (good) friends just isn’t there. I’m not against having acquaintances or (general) friends, but it’s hard to find people who 'get' me. And people always want something in return for their ‘friendship’. So I rather be anti-social (although I see myself more as being introvert) than waste my time on people who don't matter.

Looking back, 10 years later, I can see very clearly now how that incident has changed my life. I was forced to take a different path. Was it for the better? I do not know. Only (more) time will tell. But one thing is for sure, I am contented with what I have now. Do I want more? Of course! Who doesn’t? Yet, I know I will not want to trade what I have now for a do-over. I am glad to have met the people I’ve met these past 10 years. I treasure every encounter and experience I had so far, good and bad. Even though some of them brought me much heartaches and disappointments, but I have no regrets. I am who I am right now thanks to the different path that I’ve taken.

Sunday Serenade: brave

It is a special day this coming Tuesday. It is not what will happen, but what had happened.. 10 years ago.. I want to believe that I've come a long way since then.. I don't know.. but what I do know is that I survived.. and I'm happy with where I am right now.. Thus on this Sunday, I'm dedicating this song by Sara Bareilles to myself.. Enjoy!

Have a great week ahead! Stay strong and cheerful! :) 

Poetry Solace: Of love and longing (III)

Two more poems from No One Can Stem the Tide by Jane Tyson Clement.. really liked her work..

(31) Love and Longing

( To R.A.C. )
It’s not what happens that decides our end;
it’s how the heart takes hold of it and makes 
an open wound of pain, or wisdom’s scar. 
What my heart makes of this, the days will tell. 
Therefore return in some safe-distanced year
                  to see if I am invalid and lame 
or scarred but otherwise quite wise and well. 
But do not look to find me quite the same.

(32) Love and Longing

( To R.A.C. )
One who has loved is never quite alone, 
though all the hills declare our solitude. 
Having known you, I am no more afraid, 
the essential singleness of blood and bone 
when dispossessed, comes never in return; 
one who has loved is never quite alone.




Have a great weekend! Have fun but stay safe!! :)

Sunday Serenade: counting stars

On this beautiful Sunday morning, let's have another song by OneRepublic called Counting Stars.. Enjoy!

Counting Stars
[Chorus]
Lately I been, I been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Yeah, we'll be counting stars

[Verse 1]
I see this life
Like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
In my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and ye shall find

Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told

I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

[Chorus] x2

[Verse 2]
I feel the love
And I feel it burn
Down this river every turn
Hope is a four letter word
Make that money
Watch it burn

Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told

And I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that downs me makes me wanna fly

[Chorus] x2

[Bridge 4x:]
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

[Chorus] x2

[Outro 4x:]
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned






Have a great week ahead! Be safe and be productive! :)

and..

Nothing much to update..

busy. wet. (getting) colder..



Cloudy with a varying hues of blues.. figuratively and literally..

Sunday Serenade: best I ever had

It's Sunday again.. time for a song.. Here's one by Gavin DeGraw called 'Best I Ever Had'..

Enjoy!




Have a great week ahead! Stay safe and keep hydrated!

Poetry Solace: Of love and longing (II)

Continuing with another work from No One Can Stem the Tide by Jane Tyson Clement..

(21) Love and Longing
For you the night is still;
the moonlight on the hill
shall come no more. And I
whose life was touched with flame,
if I stay not the same
because the flame must die,
you will not know.


For me the night will change,
the moonlight not be strange,
nor silvered hill. And you
whose life was turned to dark
sleep on and do not mark
if this small heart stay true,
if love will go.

It is for me to keep
the beauty, while you sleep
unsullied peace. And I
who cannot stay the years
nor live them all in tears
must watch the vision die
unchecked and slow.



Have a great weekend! Enjoy and be safe! :)

Tarot readings... XIV

Again, time for another reading.. Just started my PhD 3rd year last month, and many things have happened in my studies.. so it will be interesting to see what the cards have to say for the months ahead..
Note that all pictures of tarot cards are from http://phpbb-tw.net/phpbb/thoth/ and there is no intention of infringing any copyright.
所有的塔罗图片都采自竹猫星球塔罗馆 （http://phpbb-tw.net/phpbb/thoth)，本部落并无意侵犯版权。


對 學　　業 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in : Education

現狀 Current Situation: 賢者 [The Magus]

你的頭腦好、記憶力快，看起來很放鬆，成績卻比一般同學好，除了功課之外，社團、比賽等課外活動你也表現得很好。
You have a brain for study and good memory. Although you might seemed relaxed, your results are better than your classmates'. Other than school work, your performance in extra-curriculum activities are very good as well.



問題 Problem: 皇帝 [The Emperor]

表示你的功課雖然不錯，但是比較容易遭人眼紅，你又不擅於跟同學哈啦聊天，以致常常被人誤會你很驕傲。
Although you are doing quite well academically, you incur the jealousy of others. As you are not very good in small talks, you are often misunderstood as being proud.




建議 Suggestion: 愚者 [The Fool]

不要限在既定框架中，別人的路不見得是你適合走的，也不要因為功課或才華不如別人就否定自己，你不需要跟其他人都一樣。
Do not put yourself in a box. What is suitable for others may not be good for you. Don't deny your talent just because you are different. You don't have to be the same as them.






對 健康運勢 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in: Health:

現狀 Current Situation: 隱者 [The Hermit]

你可能現在被一些慢性病，或是找不到根源的老毛病所困擾，用很多的方法都沒有辦法根治，這讓你的精力減弱心情低落，很多玩樂的事都沒辦法去享受。
You may be troubled by some chronic ailment or can't find the source of your sickness even when you have tried many remedies. You are feeling low and lethargy because of this, and this is preventing you from enjoying yourself.




問題 Problem : 女皇 [The Empress]

你比較懶散不愛運動，又太過注重吃喝玩樂的享受，短期內是沒什麼問題，但長期下來，很容易讓身體負擔越來越重，要稍加節制。
You don't like to exercise and yet you like to indulge yourself. There may not be much trouble in the near future, but in the long run, your body might not take the strain. Be prudent.





建議 Suggestion: 星星 [The Star]

你如果單純是想要替自己養生，可能無法研究得很徹底，因為你不是很個人主義的.最好拿身邊朋友的健康煩惱來找資料研究，你因為想幫助他們，會很快的就變成專家了。
If you just wanna take care of yourself, you might not have the perseverance for it as you are not one who thinks just for yourself. It is better to worry yourself with the health of the people around and use that as a motivation. As you truly want to help them, you will become a health expert in no time!




對 人際運勢 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in : Human Relationships

現狀 Current Situation: 戰車 [The Chariot]

友情正在進入一段考驗期，你跟朋友試圖在百忙中維持友誼，但又造成很大的負擔，不知道要怎麼樣才能兩全其美。
Your friendship is now in a very testing period. You and your friends tried to keep this friendship going despite the busyness but this is taking a huge toll and both sides is stuck at trying to find a balance.




問題 Problem: 教皇 [The Hierophant]

你太有原則了，雖然大家覺得你是值得交的朋友，但有時常常太過固執，聽不進別人的話，所以朋友雖喜歡你，卻覺得你有時很難溝通。
You are too principled. Although people think that you are a worthy friend and they do like you, your stubbornness and refusal to listen to others are preventing people to communicate with you.




建議 Suggestion: 皇帝 [The Emperor]

你平日有很多話都往肚裡吞，太怕得罪人，甚至連該講的話都不講，弄到自己跟對方都不高興；試著坦承一點，交朋友不用太過小心翼翼。
You tend to keep mum even when you have lots to say as you are worried that you might offend people. Things that should have been said but didn't is causing everyone, yourself included to be unhappy. Be more truthful, you don't have to be too careful.




對 財　　運 進行占卜，結果為：
Pertaining your luck in: Wealth:

現狀 Current Situation: 塔 [Tower]

你近期有嚴重的破財，而且是完全沒有預期的情況下，讓你很氣憤又心疼；也有可能是無預警的丟工作，頓失最重要的財源。
You just lost some major finance and it was totally out of the blue. That upsets you very much. You may lost your job suddenly and lost a very important source of income.





問題 Problem: 愚者 [The Fool]

你對錢沒有危機意識，總覺得千金散盡還復來，但最近有可能快要青黃不接，你卻還是有很多想花的錢，自制力不太好。
You have no sense of urgency with regards to your finance. You always think that money will continue to come no matter what. Even when you may have some issues with income sources, you still wants to spend more money. Lack of self-control.




建議 Suggestion: 惡魔 [The Devil]

雖然你覺得理想跟專業性，都比錢重要，但如果不向環境暫時妥協的話，不只自己的收入無法增加，還會影響到身邊的人，先拋下自尊，學著世俗一點吧！
Even though you think dreams and professionalism is more important than money, yet if you do not compromise, you may not just restrict your income source but also affect the people around you. Put down your pride and learn to be more materialistic!

Sunday Serenade: true love

Time for P!nk! :) Love most of her songs.. especially the lyrics.. today's song is not so new, slightly more than a year old.. but who cares, right? A good song is a good song. Time doesn't matter.. So enjoy!





Have a productive week ahead! Be safe and stay funky! :)

binge-watching

Just wanna confessed that I like to binge-watch.. Even though I follow most of my US dramas a day or two late after they were broadcasted in the States, I sometimes binge-watch shows that I missed but were highly recommended..

The latest drama that I've just binge-watched just last weekend was Orange is the new black (OITNB). Before you start googling the show, let me tell you that this is not a show for everyone. It is definitely NOT politically correct, nor is it the usual 'family-friendly' drama. It dealt with difficult and controversial topics and showed us the ugly underbelly of the society, which to me is what real life is all about. To me, Life is no walk in the park. And I do realized that there might never be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and things may never be okay. Also, not everyone gets their 'happily-ever-after' endings.. Life is NEVER black and white. It has plenty of gray in between.

I like the show because it is one of the rare few dramas that has a majority female ensemble. All the women have their own stories and demons that they must face. People are not who they seemed to be.  It is real lives. It is raw. It is not pretty. And I was hooked. That's why I had to binge-watch the entire 13 episodes of season 1!

I started around 12 noon on Sunday. I thought I could watch the first 6 episodes and stop for dinner. I planned to finish the next 7 episodes on Thursday, as I do not have classes that day due to it being a public holiday here. Never did I expect it to be so addictive and captivating.. I did stop around 7pm for a quick dinner, a shower and a (fast) reading of a journal paper (that was required reading for my class on Monday afternoon). Then I jumped back in from 9pm+ and didn't stop until 4am (Monday)!

I have a couple more dramas lined up for my next binge-watching marathon.. :)  Can't wait... See, life can be simple and uncomplicated if you do not need much. ｡◕‿◕｡

Sunday Serenade: bonfire heart

James Blunt. Love some of his songs. You're Beautiful. It's Not Easy To Be Me. Tears and Rain. Just to name them out.. now, this is another one to add to the list.. Like this MV too.. :)

Enjoy!

Bonfire Heart
[Verse 1:]
Your mouth is a revolver firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier, loyal till you die
And I’ve been looking at the stars for a long, long time
I’ve been putting out fires all my life
Everybody wants a flame, but they don’t want to get burnt
And today is our turn

[Chorus:]
Days like these lead to
Nights like this leads to
Love like ours
You light the spark in my bonfire heart
People like us, we don’t need that much
Just someone that starts, starts the spark in our bonfire hearts
[end of Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
This world is getting colder. Strangers passing by
No one offers you a shoulder. No one looks you in the eye
But I’ve been looking at you for a long, long time
Just trying to break through, trying to make you mine
Everybody wants a flame, they don’t want to get burnt
Well today is our turn

[Chorus]








Have a productive week ahead! Stay healthy and merry!! :)

Poetry Solace: Of love and longing (I)

Continuing with more works from No One Can Stem the Tide by Jane Tyson Clement..

(16) Love and Longing

My dear, I do not love you as you think,

not half in mirth, nor briefly, but forever.

Grant me some power to mend my imperfections;

admit me strength to make one long endeavor.

I am not all the surface gloss you think;

I have a deep glow, too, if you would see.

I would give proof of faith and fearlessness

if you would only care, and turn to me.

Enjoy your weekend! Stay safe! :)

.

Sunday Serenade: shooting star

The song for this week is Shooting Star by Owl City.. think those who listens to pop songs won't be too unfamiliar with this guy.. remember Fireflies? This is yet another feel-good song.. :)

Enjoy!

Shooting Star
Close your tired eyes, relax and then
Count from 1 to 10 and open them
All these heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down
But not this time

Way up in the air, you're finally free
And you can stay up there right next to me
All this gravity will try to pull you down
But not this time

[Chorus]
When the sun goes down and the lights burn out
Then it's time for you to shine
Brighter than a shooting star
So shine no matter where you are

Fill the darkest night with a brilliant light
'Cause it's time for you to shine
Brighter than a shooting star
So shine no matter where you are tonight

Woah-oh, woah-oh, woah-oh

Brighter than a shooting star
Shine no matter where you are tonight
[end of Chorus]

Gaze into my eyes when the fire starts
And fan the flames so hot it melts our hearts
Oh, the pouring rain will try to put it out
But not this time

Let your colors burn and brightly burst
Into a million sparks that all disperse
And illuminate a world that'll try to bring you down
But not this time

[Chorus]

A thousand heart beats beat in time
It makes this dark planet come alive
So when the lights flicker out tonight
You gotta shine

[Chorus]






Have a productive week! Stay funky and be safe! :)

Singlish

This is my first attempt at writing in Singlish.. hope I will have inspiration to write more in future.. 
Let me know what you think about this short piece.. Enjoy! 
-------------------------------------
Siao liao 3^rd year oreddy.. Still no paper, si beh jia lat.. how not to kan-cheong? Sian, need to be on the ball now, if not sure up the lorry.. cannot play play liao.. and cannot keng liao.. need to chiong all the way... die die must ORD in 5 years..

Some academic papers are so cheem I read until blur and still catch no ball.. heng my England powderful, else sure gone case.. research si beh siong.. very pek chek sometimes..

I boh chup many of my classmates cos I buay song their attitude.. some of them ai chut pattern.. some damn hao lian.. some like to kay kiang.. some like to wayang.. all one kind one.. really beh tahan them.. most of them cannot make it one and a few sure gone case one.. I either heck care them or siam them.. only a few I kawan with them.. 

school - update

For this semester, I've only 2 classes to attend.. Monday afternoon and Thursday morning.. not as 'boh eng' as before... It was Mid-Autumn Festival last week, so no school on Thursday and Friday.. thus in a sense, the actual semester starts this week..

Also, in this semester, I've managed to get a small research room in the library. Unlike previous semesters, I was allocated a room on the 8th floor. I'm treating it as my "office", meaning I will be there at least 7-8 hours everyday, maybe even during weekends.. Monday to Wednesday will be for my translation jobs and homework (if there is any), while I'm going to do my reading and research between Thursday and Saturday.. And Sunday shall be my day off.. :)  Well, at least that is the plan..

Sunday Serenade: people like us

This week, I'm gonna share Kelly Clarkson's People Like Us.. have always like her songs' lyrics.. telling us to be strong and to stand together.. Songs that can pick you up when you're down.. and we know how often we need such boasts because when there's ups, there'll be downs...

Enjoy!

People Like Us
We come into this world unknown
But know that we are not alone
They try and knock us down
But change is coming, it's our time now

Hey… everybody loses it,
Everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes
And hey… yeah I know what you're going through
Don't let it get the best of you, you'll make it out alive
Ohh

[Chorus 1]
People like us we've gotta stick together
Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever
Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten
It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom
[end of Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2]
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
We are all misfits living in a world on fire
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
Sing it for the people like us, the people like us
[end of Chorus 2]

Hey, this is not a funeral
It's a revolution, after all your tears have turned to rage
Just wait, everything will be okay
Even when you're feeling like it's going down in flames
Ohh

[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 2] x 2

They can't do nothing to you, they can't do nothing to me
This is the life that we choose, this is the life that we bleed
So throw your fists in the air, come out, come out if you dare
Tonight we're gonna change forever

Everybody loses it, everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes
Ohh

[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 2]
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
You've just got to turn it up loud when the flames get higher
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
Sing it for the people like us, the people like us

[Chorus 2]
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
You've just got to turn it up loud when the flames get higher
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
Sing it for the people like us, the people like us




Have a productive week ahead! Be cheery and stay healthy! :)

Poetry Solace: Of summer night storm

From No One Can Stem the Tide by Jane Tyson Clement..

(8) Summer Night Storm

The ranting of the gods, this tumbling sky,

this wind-strong rain which pelts against my cheek,

the world re-lit by lightning, and the lie

of tall sea grass low bent against the sand.

I stand here, strangely still, with all the world

tumultuous at my feet, and yet my heart

is stronger than the roaring wind that swirls

about my body, taut against its force;

that blows my eyelids shut, that locks my lips,

lest all my spirit end its restlessness

in one wild song.

Have a good weekend! Enjoy and be safe!

starting 3rd year

Today is the first day of school.. after more than 12 weeks of summer holiday it is time to get back to school.. :)

In this semester, I will be taking just 2 subjects and maybe auditing another. Both subjects are taught by my adviser, so I will be seeing him twice a week this entire semester. This might just be the 'push' I need to finally write something.  It is time for me to concentrate on my research and produce at least one paper by the end of this semester. Yet, I am wary that there may be a surprise or two during this period. Again, come what may, I have to write something if I want to graduate within the timeline I've set for myself..

It is always good to plan, but adjustments need to be made along the way when 'shit' happens. And this semester I have a little study room in the library, so there's no more excuse of not having a conducive environment to research/study... Looks like I'm all ready to face the new semester!

Sunday Serenade: skyfall

When you mentioned James Bond, only Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan comes to mind.. The latest actor playing James Bond, Daniel Craig, is too 'rough' and rugged for my liking.. I only caught his 3rd Bond movie recently over cable.. What caught my eyes, or rather ears about that movie is Adele's rendition of the theme song.. Her voice is heavenly.. So this week, let's revel her voice in this theme song..

Enjoy!





Have a productive week ahead! Be safe and stay funky! :)

Sunday Serenade: lego house

When I first watched this MV, I was like "Huh? when did Ron Wesley start singing?". I googled it and found that he was just acting in it.. but the actual singer, Ed Sheeren, is also a red head..

After listening closely, I like the lyrics very much.. especially the chorus.. Enjoy!

Lego House
I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
And build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down

My three words have two meanings,
There's one thing on my mind
It's all for you

And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

[Chorus]
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
[end of Chorus]

I'm gonna paint you by numbers
And colour you in
If things go right we can frame it and put you on a wall

And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
Now I'll surrender up my heart
And swap it for yours

[Chorus]

Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking, and it's more than I can take

And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

[Chorus]

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down

And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

[Chorus]




Have a great week ahead! Be productive and stay healthy!