Jan 1, 2011

Have a blessed 2011..

Happy New Year Everyone!

What a year 2010 was.. At least for me, it was a eventful year.. eventful in a not-so nice way.. most of my plans fell through.. I was stuck in a small town with no friends.. I was jobless for more 9 months.. I was feeling like shit/loser..

yet if I looked at all these from another angle - I am with my family for the longest ever since I went to SG to study more than 15 years ago, I am here for my sister now, helping her to cope with her job as a trainee doctor when I wasn't there while she was growing up, I did several ad hoc translation jobs and am now working freelance as a translator..

so it is really the way we look at things that decides how we feel.. this is one lesson that I've learned the hard way in 2010.. I was feeling sorry for myself and all the self-doubts was clouding my perspective.. It was a vicious downward spiral which I finally got out of..

Also for this year, I've decided to NOT set any new year resolutions. What is the point of setting targets which I know I won't be able (or have the motivation) to achieve. Year in, year out, these resolutions remains just that, a resolution. For this year, I shall give myself the benefit of the doubt and just list out 3 general wishes:

1. Be Happy.
I will try to be as true to myself as I possibly can, without hurting anyone. And I know for me to be happy, I need to leave this country. Although I do still love this birth place of mine, I cannot live here.. The lifestyle here is not what I want. I don't want to worry about my safety and security every single minute. I don't want my tax money to go to a corrupted government or cronies. I don't want to be told that I am not a "citizen" of the country because I have a different skin color or I don't believe in their god. I don't want to own a car. I can be happy inside my head, but I need to the external environment to match my expectation too.

2. Be Healthy.
I will take better care of my body. After having a health scare and an accident late last year made me realized the abuse that I have been subjecting my body to. I will be reaching the big four-zero in a couple of years, so it is time to take good care of my body, especially if I am gonna leave this country this year. The last thing I want is for my parents to be worried about me when I am overseas. So I shall continue to drink that super juice (which is making my skin glow! :p), watch what I eat, have a normal sleeping pattern and do more exercise at home.

3. Be Financially stable.
I will continue to find more freelance translation jobs or get a perm job overseas this year. If I could get into a PhD program this year, then I will continue with my freelancing, else I would look for a perm job either in SG or TW. I have been financially independent for the past 11 years so it was tough not bringing any pay check home for more than 9 months last year. Yet, it gave me a chance to figure out what are the things I really need and what are the things I can do without. So now I know what I can live with/without.

Truthfully, I am grateful for 2010, although I wished it hasn't been so tough/frustrating/demoralizing but I guess Life has a funny way of showing us who we really are, especially during tough and difficult times... I am not saying that I am now invisible/indestructible, but I gained a little insight into my own psyche.

So in a way, 2010 was a year that I had to take a good hard look at myself, what I am doing and where I am heading. I sure hope that 2011 will the year where I am making the first move to actually go/achieve what I am supposed to. ;)

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