Jul 22, 2011

surgical voyage: post-op I

The first 12 hours after surgery was the most unbearable physical discomfort I had ever experienced in my entire life (so far).. and let me tell you why.. 

After (sorta) woken up from GA but still very very groggy, I kinda knew that I was taken back to the ward in an ambulance (what else).. was drifting in and out of sleep (or consciousness, not too sure).. but I did remember the glimpses of what was happening around me.. finally I arrived back in the ward and was lifted back onto my bed..

The nurses kinda rolled me onto my sides to get the canvas out, change me out of my single-piece surgical gown and put my ward gown on.. I was weaker than a baby and my entire body was in some kind of limbo.. I have never felt so helpless and vulnerable in my entire life.. And all these while, my sis never left my side..

After resting for a while, I felt thirsty.. so my sis fed me some water using a spoon... just drips of it onto my lips..  after a while she fed me a few drops of sugar cane water, just something sweet for energy.. unfortunately, I vomited all out after a few minutes.. this meant that I can't be allowed any oral liquid for at least 6 more hours as it was a clear indication that my body has yet to recover from the GA..

Thus I was put on drip (to hydrate me) and medicated via IV.. Even till then, I was still drifting in and out.. it was hard to hold onto my consciousness for long.. I felt so frail... But I do know that my sis brought my parents in to see me.. They came and stayed for just a short while.. as there was nothing that they could do for me..

It must have been 10:30pm or later, when I felt the urge to relieve myself.. yet I could barely sit up, much less walk to the toilet.. I knew about bedpan.. and had wanted to NOT use it.. but what choice do I have? It was either using a bedpan or wetting the bed.. When I was told to raise my butt up so that the nurse could place the bedpan under me, darn! I never felt so exposed, so weak and so helpless.. I will always remember the feel of cold metal and me trying to behave as normal as possible... All I want to do is to finish my "business" as fast as possible.. "luckily", I can wipe myself and not have the nurse do it for me.. :x :x :x :x   

During the night, I suffered from severe gastritis.. and since I still couldn't eat nor drink, there was nothing they could do except to give me medication (through the IV) to stop my stomach from churning out more acid and stop the pain.. The pain lasted throughout the night.. and on top of that, I had been having difficulties breathing, especially after they administered 2 small bottles of antibiotics (also through the IV).. I was very worried that I had (somehow) lost the ability to breath normally after being on the ventilator during the operation, which, on hind sight, was totally untrue but nonetheless was gnawing on my already very weak and paranoid mind then..

I had a fitful sleep that night.. slept for a short while and then woken up by either the pain on my neck, by the nurse taking my blood pressure every 2 hours or the gastritis pain.. Furthermore, my sis had to re-insert my cannula in the middle of the night as the original one was 'blocked'.. the 2nd cannula made my left hand more numbed and restrictive..

So to sum it up: During those 12 hours, I felt bodily pain, humility, helplessness and vulnerability.. Yet at the same time, I also felt the love of my sister.. the dedication of the nurses.. and the appreciation of health..

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