yes, I am worried and a little scared..

I would be lying if I say I am not worried about my operation next Monday..

So yes indeed, I am worried and a little scared.. yet, what can worrying and being scared about it accomplish? It is not going to make the tumor go away nor will it minimize the risks that I'm going to face during surgery.. thus, the rational side of me is embracing the surgery as calmly as possible..

A few simple facts to keep things in perspective:

1. Tumor is confirmed to be pleomorphic adenoma of the parotid gland.
2. Best and only treatment is surgical removal (parotidectomy).
3. Risks of having surgery: Frey's syndrome, facial nerve damage and scarring.
4. Risks of NOT having surgery: 5 to 15% of it turning malignant and it gets higher the longer it stays inside.
5. Surgery will be done by an ENT surgeon/specialist that my sister knows and trusts.

Among the risks, I am more concerned about the possibility of facial nerve damage.. Although I am not a very smiley person, I won't want to lose my ability to give a big happy smile.. I can live with a scar or redness/sweating in the operated area when I eat (it will make good conversation pieces :p).. also, these are non-life threatening risks, not a 'confirm sure-to-happen' certainty, so I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best..

Anyway, I have to put my trust on the Mr. A (the ENT surgeon/specialist) to do the best he can to make sure everything goes smoothly. He has a good reputation in the hospital and I am sure he doesn't want to be known as the surgeon who 'paralyze' his colleague's sister's face. And I trust my body's healing ability too.. :)

So again, yes I am worried, but there is no running away from this surgery.. with my sis and her colleagues looking after and taking care of me, I am in good hands.. and with your prayers, I will be okay.. :) :) :)