Those few days in the hospital - immobilized, weaken, battling bodily pain and psychological helplessness - gave me plenty to think about.. and made me realized several things... (pardon me if the following sounded like feel-good mantras from some self-help books.. :p)
Health IS wealth
Although it might sound cliche to you, but I truly believe so now.. well, not that I don't before the operation, but the operation amplified the true value of health.. laying on the bed, sick, unable to do even the simplest and most basic thing like relieving myself makes me treasure health even more! I won't want to be sickly and a burden.. I won't want to witness my body deteriorating bit by bit day by day.. I won't want to lose my sanity and/or my well-being and not able to do anything about it.. I don't want to relive that sense of helplessness and vulnerability, if I can help.. So I am gonna take extra good care of my body and mind from hence forth.. :)
Smile costs Nothing
When I found out that one of the possible side effects of the operation was that I might lose the ability to smile, it dawned on me that I might be losing a wonderful gift that I had not been using as much.. In fact, I think I am pretty stingy as to whom I smile to or at.. but this operation might just change that.. Frankly, it doesn't cost us anything to smile yet it helps make the world a better place.. "Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~ Mother Teresa"
Ignore Negativity
Life is fragile and unpredictable.. One minute you might be enjoying your favorite cup of coffee, the next you might suffered a seizure and died.. Who knows how long one has to live? Life is too precious for me to waste even an ounce of my energy or a second of my time on people or matters that do not matter. I will not entertain people who bring negativity into my life.. I will stay away from naysayers, wet blankets or 'dementors'. I will turn a blind eye and a deaf ear instead of getting angry or pissed.. :)
Live Without Regrets
We don't need to suffer from cancer or any other terminal illness to jolt us from our tunnel vision of life. Yet we like to stick to the mundane/routine, always giving reasons/excuses to NOT change or strive for what we actually want in life.. And when "bad" things happen, we'll regret the things that we should/could/would have been... I for one am not going to allow that to happen, I will try my darnest to live my life to the fullest and without regrets..
I know.. I know.. all these are easier said than done..
..but I have nothing to lose.. what would be the worst case scenario?? being misunderstood as stuck-up, selfish or arrogant? being called names like b***h, good-for-nothing, heartless, unfillial, etc behind my back? being outcast or ostracized? or?
Frankly I don't really give a damn.. as long as I am not hurting anyone, I will live MY LIFE MY WAY.. cos hey, I have the right to pursue MY OWN HAPPINESS.. I know what I want and what I don't.. so to those 'supposedly concerned friends/relatives', I would like to say, "f**k off! mind your own business and go live your own life!!"..
Borrowing and modifying a quote from Dead Poets Society, "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys (and girls). Make your lives extraordinary"!! :) :)
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