these past 700 days.

It was really a roller-coaster ride these past 700 days..

I had so many plans.. most fell through.. many due to external factors, while some were internal.. I had plenty of highs and lows, ups and downs.. I went through all kinds of negative emotions - frustration, anger, disappointment, aimlessness, sadness, self-pity, self-doubt, anxiety and depression.. in the end, I sorta managed to slay these internal demons or at least keep them at bay..

I was getting the hang of being alone.. as I've become a "hermit" of sort.. didn't meet up with most of my friends as we've drifted apart, regardless of location.. most who came back have moved on with their new lives, with few seemed willing to make time to catch-up, face-to-face.. we are still "connected" via FB but it just doesn't feel the same.. some friends are just "friends"....

I had an operation..  experienced the helplessness and vulnerability of being a patient.. felt the TLC of my family, especially my sis.. realized many things with health being more important than most things in life.. I came to the conclusion that I don't want to go back into the rat race..

Yet looking back, I have no regrets for staying at home these past 700 days as the best gift that I've received is that I get to be with my sis for more than 22 months.. I am glad that I was there for her when she was adapting to working life.. providing her with a listening ear, supportive shoulders and an open heart.. I was happy being her keeper.. We had wonderful times together.. baking and cooking, traveling (to Pangkor and Singapore), shopping, dining out and just hanging out..

I am very sure that I am gonna miss my sis tons and the most.. :(  :(  :(

Tomorrow afternoon, I shall be taking a flight to my new destination.. with so much expectation riding on this, I am worried that I might get disappointed.. yet, I know that it is entirely up to me to make sure that doesn't happen..