The act of Giving..

There is no denying that the world would be a better place if everyone is more giving and charitable.. but being giving is less important than being thoughtful, in my opinion.. We may have lots of love/money/time/whatever to give and we want to give them, but we must ponder over the possibility of those gifts being an unwelcome intrusion or forced obligation onto the receiver..

There is a saying in Chinese, "己所不欲，勿施于人", which could be roughly translated to "Don't give to others what you yourself do not want".. Give what is needed or what is required, not what you want to get rid of.. Clear examples can be seen during those calls for donations whenever there is natural disasters in other parts of the world.. Those charitable organizations would often received donations (clothes and food items) that were more suited to be thrown away, then to be shipped as aids.. Another "bigger" example would be the ex-US President's "Gift of Democracy" to the people of Iraq by waging a war that no one (but his own kakis) supported..

It is understandable that everyone wants to be seen as being charitable or kind or just nice.. but often people lost sight of the true meaning of giving.. If our actions of giving cause inconvenience/unease/pain/anything negative to the receiver, is that act of giving still a good thing? If they do not want our "gifts", do we force them to take it, because we "think" they want/need it?? Who are we to do that??!?? Who are we to decide what they do or do not want/need??!? In my opinion, forcing people to accept "gifts" that you think he/she wants without finding out if he/she really wants it or not, is NOT a gesture of kindness.. Those "gifts" could be anything - money, advice, aid/help, love and affection, etc.. To me, regardless of the gifts, this is still an act of imposing our own will onto others..

So before you give, ask yourself this, "Why am I giving this gift? Is he/she going to be happy receiving it? Or I just want to be seen as a nice person?" Sometimes all it takes is to be in the other person's shoes and reflect..