A nomad..

Fourteen days of touring Western Japan, visiting 7 different cities (Kagoshima, Nagasaki, Kumamoto, Hiraoshima, Matsuyama, Okayama and Osaka) meant that I had slept in 7 different beds.. If I go back further and count from July where I had traveled to Italy and France (Rome, Siena, Florence, Milan, Nice, Lyon, Macon and Paris) and my short 2-weeks back in Malaysia (where I went to Genting and stayed over my uncle's place in Puchong, other than my own bed in Taiping), I had slept in 19 different beds in the last 80 days, not forgetting the bed in Tokyo.. a change of bed every 4 days!!

This seemed to reflect how my life have been in the last 34 years.. A nomad, kind of.. Even while I was in Singapore, I had to move on average every 3 years because of various reasons.. And I had lost count of the number of times I slept in a "new" room/bed every time I came back to Malaysia because my family continue to move around too..

Thus, I can say that I am able to adapt well to any new environment, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it nor does it mean that I look forward to it.. Again, that may have contributed to my sense of "rootlessness".. I don't feel that I belong to anywhere nor anyone.. Anywhere I go or everything I do, I can only depend on myself.. since everything else is so fluid and volatile..

Every time I feel a tiny sense of belonging or being part of a group, I had to leave, due to one reason or another.. It is very tiring making new friends over and over and over again.. and I am NOT the outgoing and friendly kind of person either.. The "stress" of making new friends and trying to fit in is enough to make me "anti-social" and "unfriendly".. Yet, there is no other way around it.. People move in and out of our lives, whether we like it or not.. I can only try to hold on to those whom I treasure and ALSO reciprocate my effort in maintaining our friendship.. why bother when he/she doesn't? I won't want to be an "unwelcome self-declared good friend"..

Let's see how many friends I will (manage to) retain.. from these past 2.5 years in Japan..