Rebelling

Barely my 3rd day home and already my body is staging a mutiny..

Since yesterday morning, I've been having runny nose (I should call it "gushing" nose instead, looking at the speed it is running), watery eyes, aching body (especially my shoulders), and a mild cough.. with a head that is heavy and can't think.. oh, not to mention feeling emotional numb.. luckily, I still haven't lost my appetite yet.. I would really start worrying if I don't feel like eating..

Maybe all these are just ways that my body is trying to tell me something.. I don't know if all these are really adverse "allergy reaction" of me being back in my own country or just me being tired and weak from all the lugging of my baggage last Sunday..

Now, I have no mood whatsoever in doing anything productive.. Nothing seemed to interest nor excite me.. Maybe I am being too harsh on myself, since this is ONLY my 3rd day back home.. Yet, I can't help but feel useless and inadequate.. I don't even feel sad anymore, which makes me wonder if I am really that heartless.. or just my way of coping by locking that part away and not think about it..

I think I need to establish some daily routines or set some targets for myself, before wasting my life away like this.. if only my mind is cooperating..