It has been raining since early morning today.. Been having lots of wet days in Taiping.. After all, this IS the "wettest city" in Peninsular Malaysia, isn't it?!
The rain kinda cool things down a lot, making the day more bearable in the range of low twenties.. yet, it only made my mood worse.. or maybe it is just me.. if there is a scale for mood, from 0 as depressed and 100 as ecstasy, think I have been hovering around low 40s, sometimes dipping into 30s and had never gone higher than 50 in the past 2 weeks.. Nothing seems to perk me up.. nor excites me.. not even food or cooking...
Been reading lots of motivation books and "hope-inspiring" self-help books.. but the effect is at best, minimal.. somehow I need to look at things differently, change my perspective, so to speak.. somehow I need to stop this slide down the dark abyss of hopelessness.. somehow.. I know what I should be doing, yet I can't seem to be able to get myself to do it..
Maybe I need some/more time.. Maybe I need some/more space.. Maybe I just need to give myself a break and stop being so hard on myself for being jobless/aimless/whatever-less..
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